What do you think caused your heterosexuality?
When and how did you first decide you were a heterosexual?
Is it possible that your heterosexuality is just a phase that you will grow out of?
Is it possible that your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of people of the same sex? Maybe you just need a positive gay experience?
Heterosexuals have histories of failures in gay relationships. Do you think you may have turned heterosexual out of fear of rejection?
If you never slept with a person of the same sex, how do you know you wouldnt prefer that?
If heterosexuality is normal, why are a disproportionate number of mental patients heterosexual?
To whom have you disclosed your heterosexual tendencies? How did they react?
Your heterosexuality doesnt offend me as long as you leave me alone, but why do so many heterosexuals try to seduce others into that orientation?
If you should choose to nurture children, would you want them to be hetero-sexual, knowing the problems they would face?
Most child molesters are heterosexual. Do you consider it safe to expose your children to heterosexuals? Heterosexual teachers, particularly?
Why must heterosexuals be so blatant, making a public spectacle of your heterosexuality? Cant you just be what you are and keep it quiet?
Heterosexuals always assign themselves such narrowly restricted, stereo-typical sex roles. Why do you cling to such unhealthy role-playing?
How can you have a fully satisfying deeply emotional or sexual experience with an opposite-sex person, when the obvious physical, biological, and temperamental differences are so vast? How can a man possibly understand what pleases a woman and vice-versa?
Heterosexual marriage has total societal support, yet the divorce rate continues to spiral. Why are there so few stable heterosexual relationships?
Since there are so few happy heterosexuals, techniques have been developed to help people change. Have you considered trying aversion therapy?
Could you trust a heterosexual therapist/counsellor not to try to influence you to his/her own sexual leanings?
Do heterosexuals hate and/or distrust others of their own sex? Is that what makes them heterosexual?
A disproportionate number of criminals and other irresponsible types are heterosexual. So why would someone hire a heterosexual in a responsible position?
Why are heterosexuals so promiscuous, always having affairs, etc.?
Aquà hay algunas diferencias entre gente rica y gente pobre:
1)Un rico corriendo es un atleta.
Un pobre corriendo es un ladrón.
2)Un rico con un arma es un mafioso.
Un pobre con un arma es un atracador.
3)Un rico con alas es un ángel.
Un pobre con alas es un murciélago.
4)Un rico bebiendo es un catador.
Un pobre bebiendo es un alcohólico.
5)Un rico fumando es de clase alta.
Un pobre fumando es un vicioso.
6)Un rico nadando es un delfÃn.
Un pobre nadando es una piraña.
REDNECK FAMILY TREE
Many, many years ago when I was twenty three, I got married to a widow who was pretty as could be,
This widow had a daughter Who had hair of red. My father fell in love with her, And soon the two were wed.
This made my dad my son-in-law And changed my very life. My daughter was my mother, For she was my fathers wife.
To complicate the matters worse, Although it brought me joy, I soon became the father Of a bouncing baby boy.
My little baby then became A brother-in-law to dad. And so became my uncle, Though it made me very sad.
For if he was my uncle, Then that also made him brother To the widows grown-up daughter Who, of course was my step-mother.
Fathers wife then had a son, Who kept them on the run. And he became my grandson, For he was my daughters son.
My wife is now my mothers mom. And it surely makes me blue. Because, although she is my wife, She is my grandma too.
If my wife is my grandmother, Then I am her grandchild. And every time I think of it, It simply drives me wild.
For now I have become The strangest case you ever saw. As the husband of my grandmother, am my own grandpa!
Q: What did the drummer get on his I.Q. test?
A: Drool.
What is the newest game at the white house?
Swallowing the leader!
(This allegedly really happened in Canada. I heard it from a
friend. After posting it in rec.backcountry I got some requests to
post it here.)
Some guy on drugs jumped over a cliff but did not quite succeed in
killing himself. The rescue team tied his unconscious body into a
Stokes litter and proceeded to evacuate by means of a fixed line
flyaway. This means that the litter is suspended a couple of
hundred feet below a helicopter which then flies to a level place
where they can set him down (carefully) and either load him in the
aircraft or otherwise take further care of him. The patient is
accompanied by one attendant tied into the litter.
This patient began to regain consciousness during the flight.
Remember he is flying across the sky and being marginally conscious
(as well as probably still feeling the effects of whatever drug he
took) probably doesnt notice either the helicopter or the cable
attaching him to it. The attendant, who happens to have a nice
bushy beard, notices that the patient is starting to come around
and in an effort to keep him calm says in his most soothing voice:
Dont worry, Ill take care of you. My name is Peter.
The effect was somewhat less soothing than hoped for and the
attendant decided that next time he would use a name other than
Peter.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who stood in front of a mirror with her eyes closed?
A: She wanted to see what she looked like asleep.
Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?
A She gets the pop tart out of the toaster in one piece.
Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: She threw it off a cliff.
Q: How do blonde brain cells die?
A: Alone.
Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?
A: Tell her shes pregnant.
Q: What will she ask you?
A: Is it mine?
Q: What are the worst six years in a blondes life?
A: Third grade.
Q: What did the blonde get on her IQ test?
A: Saliva.
Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?
A: A dope ring.
A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to, Where do pets come from?
Adam said, Lord, when I was in the garden, you walked with me everyday. Now I dont see you anymore. Im lonesome here and its difficult for me to remember how much you love me.
And God said, No problem! I will create a companion for you that will be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourself.
And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam. And it was a good animal. And God was pleased. And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and he wagged his tail. And Adam said, Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal.
And God said, No problem, because I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you. His name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him Dog.
And Dog lived with Adam and was a companion to him and loved him.
And Adam was comforted.
And God was pleased.
And Dog was content and wagged his tail.
After a while, it came to pass that Adams guardian angel came to the Lord and said, Lord, Adam has become filled with pride. He struts and preens like a peacock and he believes he is worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught him that he is loved, but perhaps too well.
And the Lord said, No problem! I will create for him a companion who will be with him forever and who will see him as he is. The companion will remind him of his limitations, so he will know that he is not always worthy of adoration.
And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam. And Cat would not obey Adam.
And when Adam gazed into Cats eyes, he was reminded that he was not the Supreme Being. And Adam learned humility.
And God was pleased.
And Adam was pleased.
And the Dog was pleased.
And the Cat didnt care one way or the other.
6. Go into the other genders bathroom without fear of being caught.
Little Johnnys teacher asked him, Johnny, give me a sentence using the words, bitter end in it.
Little Johnny thought for a moment and replies, Our dog chased our cat and he bitter end.