A good Catholic joke:
The Virgin Mary
16
Dec
16
Dec
You might be a redneck if…
People are scared to touch your wifes bathrobe.
16
Dec
Q: Which part of a vegetable can you not eat?
A: The Wheelchair!
16
Dec
For sale by Owner: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or the best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows fucking everything!
16
Dec
After completing his run through the park, Wallace threw himself on the grass and did some pushups. Just then a moron happened by.
I hate to say it, the moron offered, But I think she slipped away,
16
Dec
This guy is walking with his friend. He says to this friend, Im a walking economy.
The friend replies How so?
My hair line is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation, and both of these together are putting me into a deep depression!
15
Dec
After my 11 year old son did something really dumb, I called him a moron. He looked at he like he was saying,
Dad, do you know anything?
He finally said Dad I looked moron up in the dictionary and the definition of it is a person who has the intelligence of a 12 year old. Thanks Dad, you just gave me a compliment!
15
Dec
Quisiera ser ardilla… Para comerte ¡bellota!
Quisiera ser vampiro… ¡Para bajarte la regla a chupetones!
Quisiera ser tu ginecólogo… ¡Para chuparme los dedos!
Vamos a hacer barbacoa: ¡Tú pones el hoyo y yo el animal!
¡Mátame a pedos que quiero morir hediondo!
Aquà esta tu jabonsote… ¡Sucia!
Si eres virgencita… ¡Te la mamo hincado!
Si se junta el mar y el rÃo… ¡Vamos a juntar tu miembro con el mÃo!
¡Mucha carne y yo cursiento!
Con esa cola… ¡Ni refresco pido!
¿Qué comen los pajaritos? ¡Masita!
15
Dec
Pat Williams, general manager of the Orlando Magic, on his teams woeful record:
We cant win at home. We cant win on the road. As general manager, I just cant figure out where else to play.
15
Dec
One day, a guy with a horrible stuttering problem went to his doctor.
D-d-d-docter, is t-t-t-there anything t-t-that you c-c-c-can do for my stuttering?
Hop on to the table, and Ill give you an exam.
After the physical was over, the doctor told his patient that he thought he knew what the cause of his problem was.
It seems that your penis is too long. There is a simple surgery that can be done to correct it, but your sex life might be greatly affected.
I d-d-d-dont c-c-c-care. Ill d-d-d-do anyt-t-thing it t-t-takes.
So the man went in for surgery, and it was sucessful. He came back into the doctors office a couple of weeks later.
Doctor, I dont stutter anymore, but my girlfriends really mad at me. Do you think that theres any way to get it reattached?
I d-d-d-dont t-t-t-think s-s-s-so