A trucker who had driven his fully loaded rig to the top of a steep hill and was just starting down the equally steep other side when he noticed a man and a woman lying in the center road, making love.
He blew his air horn several times as he was bearing down on them.
Realizing that they were not about to get out of his way he slammed on his brakes and stopped just inches from them.
Getting out of the cab, madder than hell, the trucker walked to the front of the cab and looked down at the two, still in the road, and yelled, What the hells the matter with you two?
Didnt you hear me blowing the horn? You couldve been killed!
The man on the highway, obviously satisfied and not too concerned, looked up and said, Look, I was coming, she was coming, and you were coming. You were the only one with brakes.
Posted in Tasteless |
Un abogado distinguido murió y sus familiares decidieron incinerarlo, pero como el dinero no les alcanzaba decidieron hacer una colecta. Cuando se acercan a pedir la colaboración de una persona, ésta depositó en la urna tan sólo un peso.
¿Sólo un peso?, preguntó el recolector, ¿Sólo un peso para incinerar a un abogado?
A lo que el hombre contestó:
¡Ah!… ¿es para incinerar a un abogado?. Ten 500 pesos para que incineres a 20 abogados.
Posted in Chistes chistosos |
Resulta que Manolo se encuentra durmiendo, cuando de pronto suena su teléfono a las 3 de le mañana; todo desvelado y con sueño contesta:
¿Hola?
Y una voz le dice: Ho…la…ya…sé…ha…blar.
Y Manolo todo furioso le contesta:
¡Qué, me llamas a las 3 de la mañana para decirme que ya aprendiste a hablar, desgraciada!
¡Es…que…soy…una…va…ca!
Posted in Chistes chistosos |
The soldier serving overseas and far from home was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote breaking off their engagement and asking for her photograph back.
A creative fellow, he went out and collected from his buddies all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together and sent them to her with a note stating the following:
Dear Mary,
I can not remember which one is you … please keep YOUR photo and return the others!
Posted in Military |
17. If you are personally keeping the local pizza place from bankruptcy
Posted in School |
Spinster: A bachelors wife.
Posted in Love and marriage |
People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either of them being made.
Posted in Business |
A blonde who got a fishing rod for her birthday decided to go ice fishing to make good use of her gift. Early the next morning, she got all her gear together and headed out to the ice.
When she reached her final destination, she cut a large hole in the ice and dipped the rod in. Then suddenly she heard a voice that said: There are no fish in there.
So she moves to another spot and cuts another hole, but then the same voice spoke again and told her there were no fish in there.
So she moves again, and the voice tells her there are no fish in there. So she looks up and sees an irritated man staring down at her.
How do you know there are no fish there? asks the blonde.
So the man cooly says Well first of all, this is a hockey rink, and second of all, youre going to have to pay for those holes.
Posted in Blonde |
A man is in a bar and falling off his stool every couple of minutes. He is obviously drunk. So the bartender says to another man in the bar: Why dont you be a good Samaritan and take him home.
The man takes the drunk out the door and to his car and he stumbles at least ten times. They drive along and the drunk points out his house to the man. He stops the car and the drunk stumbles up the steps to his house with the man.
The drunks wife greets them at the door: Why thank you for bringing him home for me, but wheres his wheel chair?
Posted in Bar |
Dont believe in superstition — it brings bad luck.
Joke found on http://www.randomjoke.com
Posted in One Liners |