Your momma so fat…she fell in love and broke it.
Your momma so fat…shes on both sides of the family tree.
Your momma so fat she broke the family tree.
23
Jul
23
Jul
This is your captain speaking. On behalf of my crew Id like to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to London. We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the Atlantic.If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire.If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that the port wing has fallen off.If you look down towards the Atlantic ocean, you will see a little yellow life raft with three people in it waving at you.Thats me, the copilot, and one of the air stewardesses. This is a recording.
22
Jul
People specialize in their area of greatest weakness.
22
Jul
And in October, William B. Singleton, 24, just released from jail in
Belton, Mo., on a larceny charge, allegedly broke into a vending machine
in the lobby of the police station and stole a 60-cent Strawberry
Twisteroo while he waited for his ride to arrive.
22
Jul
What do you call an honest lawyer? An oxymoron.
22
Jul
I am told that in the production of The Diary of Anne Frank
with Pia Zadora in the title role, [no, really] when the Germans showed
up, looking for hidden Jews, the audience started shouting Shes upstairs!
Shes upstairs!
Truly, an unforgettable actress.
21
Jul
I Saw Teacher Kissing Santa Chlorine
I saw teacher kissing Santa Chlorine
under the chemistree last night
They didnt sneak me down the periodic chart
to take a peek
At all the atoms reacting in their beakers;
it was neat.
And I saw teacher kissing Santa Chlorine
under the chemistree so bright
Oh what a reaction there would have been
if the principal had walked in
With teacher kissing Santa Chlorine last night.
21
Jul
Q: How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Five. Two to write the specification program, one to screw it in, and two to explain why the project was late.
21
Jul
A person receives a telegram informing him about his mother-in-laws death. It also enquires whether she should be buried or burnt.
He replies, Dont take chances. Burn the body and bury the ashes.
21
Jul
Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a guy?
A: The blonde has the higher sperm count.