What did one fag say to the other fag in the bar? Can I push your stool?
27
Jun
27
Jun
Politics: It all really just boils down to this:
Issue:
Criminals:
Democrats: Give them a Republicans: Give them the swift
The poor:
Democrats: Give Republicans: Give them the swift
End Democrats: Give Republicans: Give them the swift
Dictators:
Democrats: Give Republicans: Give them the swift
The uninsured:
Democrats: Give t Republicans: Give them the swift
*The cost:
Democrats: $9,000,000, Republicans: $29.95 (co
27
Jun
Beware the man of one book. – St. Thomas Aquinas
27
Jun
A Thailor at Thea.
27
Jun
My neighbor found out her dog could hardly hear so she took it to the veterinarian. He found the problem was hair in its ears and cleaned both ears and the dog could hear fine. The veterinarian told the lady if she wanted to keep this from recurring, she could go to the store for Nair hair remover and rub it in its ears once a month.
The lady goes to the drugstore and gets some Nair. At the register, the druggist tells her If youre going to use this under your arms, dont use deodorant for a few days. The lady responds: Im not using it under my arms.
The druggist says: If youre using it on your legs, dont shave for a couple of days. The lady answers: Im not using it on my legs either, and if you must know, Im using it on my schnauzer.
The druggist says: In that case, stay off your bicycle for a week.
27
Jun
****VIRUS WARNING****
If you received an e-mail with a subject line of Badtimes, delete it immediately without reading it! It is the most dangerous E-mail virus yet. It will re-write your hard drive. Not only that, but it will scramble any disks that are even close to your computer.
It will recalibrate your refrigerators settings so all your ice cream melts and your milk curdles.
It will demagnitize the strips on all your credit cards, reprogram your ATM access codes, screw up the tracking on your VCR and use subspace field harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to play.
It will give your ex-boy/girlfriend your new phone number.
It will mix antifreeze into your fish tank.
It will drink all your beer and leave your dirty socks on the coffee table when theres company coming over.
It will hide your car keys when you are late for work and interfere with your car radio so that you hear only static while stuck in traffic.
Badtimes will make you fall in love with a hardened pedophile.
It will give you nightmares about circus midgets.
It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine, all while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your back and billing their hotel rendezvous to your Visa card.
Badtimes will give you Dutch Elm disease.
It will leave the toilet seat up and leave the hairdryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub.
It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattress and pillows, it will refill your skim milk with whole.
It is insidious and subtle.
It is dangerous and terrifying to behold.
It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve. These are just a few of the signs.
BE AFRAID! BE VERY AFRAID!
Thanx to Pete Galt.
26
Jun
Knock Knock
Whos there?
Gizaa!
Giza who!
Giza nice boy!
26
Jun
Hubo un concurso para seleccionar a quien tuviera el pene más largo del mundo,
Los organizadores seleccionaron como tercer lugar a un Noruego con 35 cms, segundo lugar a un camerunés con 65 cms y en primerÃsimo lugar a un cubano con 80 cms,
De repente les llega una notificación por fax, de que el hombre con el pene más largo se llama Juan y que vive en un pequeño poblado en México, y que si querÃan verlo tenÃan que ir a buscarlo.
Entonces envÃan una expedición al lugar señalado, y después de un largo y cansado viaje localizan al pequeño poblado.
Localizan al tipo que buscaban, estaba bajando limones de un árbol, ¡ni mas ni menos que con el pene!
De inmediato le preguntan con gran admiración:
Usted debe ser Juan ¿verdad?
No, yo me llamo Pedro, mi hermano Juan anda bajando cocos…
26
Jun
La mamá de Jaimito se estaba por bañar, entonces Jaimito le pregunta:
Ma me puedo bañar con vos.
SÃ, hijo,
Cuando se estaban bañando Jaimito le vio los senos y le pregunta: ¿Qué son esos?
Son dos limones.
Después de bañarse con su madre le preguntó a su papá si se podÃa bañar con él y le respondió que sÃ. Entonces le ve el pene y le pregunta: ¿Qué es eso?
Una vergüenza, hijo.
Después lo manda a comprar limones y la señora de la tienda le dice que no tiene. Entonces jaimito contesta: Y esos que tiene ahà señalándole los senos.
La señora, enojada le pregunta:
¿Quien te mandó a comprar?
Mi papá.
¡Tu papá no tiene vergüenza!
Y Jaimito le responde:
¡SÃ, y asà de grande!
26
Jun
Tony and Harold, two avid fisherman and well-known drunks, were out in a boat on their favorite lake one day drowning some worms and polishing off some brews.
Suddenly, Tony got what he thought was a nibble.
Reeling it in he found a bottle with a cork in it.
Naturally curious, he uncorked the bottle and a large genie appeared.
The genie said I will grant you one wish. Tony thought for a second and said I wish this whole lake was beer.
Poof! His wish came true. The lake was now filled with their favorite brew. Harold looked at Tony in disgust and said You asshole, now we have to piss in the boat.