Molesto, un tipo se dirige al farmacéutico:

Vengo a protestar por los preservativos de colores que me vendió ayer.

¿Qué sucede?

Que destiñen y hacen que uno quede en ridículo.

Pero es imposible que vengan defectuosos porque ésta es una marca reconocida internacionalmente y son muy caros.

Ya, ya, pero de verdad que el paquete estaba defectuoso.

Pero si tienen un control de calidad que ni te imaginas, es imposible.

¡Pues yo le digo que sí!

¡Pues yo le digo que no!

En eso estaban, cuando se acerca un viejecito que estaba escuchando todo y se dirige al encargado:

Pues yo le aseguro que este joven tiene razón, porque el paquete que me vendió el otro día también estaba defectuoso.

¿También desteñían sus condones?

No, pero se doblaban.

26. If your midnight snack is microwave popcorn

Flucards Corollary: Anything dropped in the bathroom falls in the toilet.

Fudds First Law of Opposition: Push something hard enough and it will fall over.

I Blame Microsoft

If I want your opinion, Ill ask you to fill out the necessary forms.

How do you stop a skunk from smelling? You hold his nose!

From the Detroit News, June 8, 1988

Dateline: Santa Ana, California.

A man was fined $58 after failing to persuade a judge that the
four frozen corpses in his van qualified him for life in the fast
lane.

Robert Hanshew, 25, of Westminster, who transports cadavers for a
mortuary service, was stopped March 21 for using a freeway car
pool lane reserved for vehicles carrying two people or more.

Jim Harvey
Michigan Bell Telephone

You hand a bank teller an envelope, and when she asks, Whats this?, you suddenly realize you just dropped the companys deposit in a mailbox and gave her your mail.

As a woman comes into the store, you turn to the other salesman and say, I waited on the last fat ugly old lady. This ones your turn!

Your boss is standing behind you. And its his wife.

While your boss is at lunch, you sneak in and look at some confidential information on his computer. You spill coffee on the keyboard. It shorts out and youre the only coffee drinker there.

You return from a weeks vacation to find that you had scheduled *this* week as vacation, not last week.

You take a sick day. The next morning the boss asks you, So, how was the fishing on Rock Creek yesterday?

You wake up hung over.

You have a black eye and barked knuckles.

Your underwear is missing.

Youre in jail.

Last night was the company Christmas party.