Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.
22
Dec
22
Dec
This Polak came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting honey I am home!
What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife.
Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun and put it to his head. His wife started laughing.
Dont laugh! he screams. Youre next!
21
Dec
Knock Knock
Whos there?
Beethoven!
Beethoven who?
Beethoven is too hot!
21
Dec
Q: How many folk singers does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Five. One to change it, and four to sing about how good the old one was.
21
Dec
A man wakes up in a hospital bed after a terrible accident and cries –
DOC, DOC…I cant feel my legs, I cant feel my legs!!!
Well of course you cant silly!, replies the Doc…
Ive cut off both of your arms.
21
Dec
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
21
Dec
This year, World Standards Day was October 14.
In the US, the day was marked
on October 11.
-Annals of Improbable Research
21
Dec
One afternoon, a man was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the road side. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.
Why are you eating grass? he asked one man.
We dont have any money for food, The poor man replied.
Oh, come along with me then.
But sir, I have a wife with two children!
Bring them along! And you, come with us too! he said to the other man.
But sir, I have a wife with six children! The second man answered.
Bring them as well!
They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limo.
Once underway, one of the poor fellows says, Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you.
The rich man replied, No, you dont understand, the grass at my home is about two meters tall!
20
Dec
El papa Juan Pablo II llega a Cuba y en plena Plaza de la Revolución Fidel Castro decÃa:
Pueblo querido, gracias a mi éste es uno de los paÃses más libres del mundo…
Y el pueblo contestaba, ¡BRAVO BRAVO!
Pero el Papa renegaba, porque no estaba de acuerdo con la polÃtica de Fidel Castro. Entonces llega el turno de hablar al Papa y dice:
Pueblo Cubano, yo les felicito por tener un presidente como éste.
El pueblo contesta ¡BRAVO BRAVO!
Es un hombre tan bueno que tiene la cara como Jesús.
¡BRAVO BRAVO!
Tiene la barba como Jesús.
¡BRAVO BRAVO!
Tiene el cabello como Jesús.
¡BRAVO BRAVO!
¡Entonces que MIERDA esperan para crucificarlo…!
20
Dec
Yo momma so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.