Top Ten Reasons Eve Was Created

10. God was worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions.

9. God knew that one day Adam would require someone to locate and hand him the remote.

8. God knew Adam would never go out and buy himself a new fig leaf when his wore out and would therefore need Eve to buy one for him.

7. God knew Adam would never be able to make a doctors, dentist, or haircut appointment for himself.

6. God knew Adam would never remember which night to put the garbage on the curb.

5. God knew if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.

4. As the Keeper of the Garden, Adam would never remember where he left his tools.

3. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.

2. As the Bible says, It is not good for man to be alone!

And the #1 reason why God created Eve…

1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched his head, and said, I can do better than that!

Why are camels called ships of the desert?

– They are full of Arab semen.

Q: How is a blonde like a frying pan?

A: You have to get them hot before you put in the meat.

A blonde was driving across several states to go visit her family. She was five hours late and her family was getting worried. When she finally got there she explained that she had seen 10 signs that said “CLEAN RESTROOMS AHEAD…”

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
FemaleAny part under a cars hood.
MaleThe strap fastener on a womans bra.
2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
FemaleFully opening up ones self emotionally to another
MalePlaying football without a cup.
3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
FemaleThe open sharing of thoughts and feelings with ones partner.
MaleLeaving a note before taking off for a weekend with the boys.
4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n
FemaleA desire to get married and raise a family.
MaleNot trying to pick up other women while out with ones girlfriend.
5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.v.
FemaleA good movie, concert, play or book.
MaleAnything that can be done while drinking and ends with sex
6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
FemaleAn embarrassing by-product of digestion.
MaleA source of entertainment, self-statement male bonding.
7. MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
FemaleThe greatest statement of intimacy a couple can achieve.
MaleCall it whatever you want just as long as we end up in bed.
8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
FemaleA device for changing from one TV channel to another.
MaleA device for scanning through all 175 channels every 5 minutes.

You might be a redneck if…
Your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your home town.

Have you heard my knock-knock joke? asked the blonde.
No, said the brunette.

Okay, said the blonde, you start.

Below are questions that people actually asked of Park Rangers around the country, proving once again that there is no known limit to the depths of human stupidity.

(Source: Outside Magazine)

Grand Canyon National Park…

Was this man-made?

Do you light it up at night?

I bought tickets for the elevator to the bottom — where is it?

So where are the faces of the presidents?

Everglades National Park…

Are the alligators real?

Are the baby alligators for sale?

Where are all the rides?

What time does the two oclock bus leave?

Denali National Park (Alaska)…

What time do you feed the bears?

Can you show me where the yeti lives?

How often do you mow the tundra?

How much does Mount McKinley weigh?

Mesa Verde National Park…

Did people build this, or did Indians?

Why did they build the ruins so close to the road?

What did they worship in the kivas — their own made-up religion?

Do you know of any undiscovered ruins?

Why did the Indians decide to live in Colorado?

Carlsbad Caverns National Park…

How much of the cave is underground?

So whats in the unexplored part of the cave?

Does it ever rain in here?

How many Ping-Pong balls would it take to fill this up?

So what is this — just a hole in the ground?

Yosemite National Park…

Where are the cages for the animals?

What time do you turn on Yosemite Falls?

Can I get my picture taken with the carving of President Clinton?

Yellowstone National Park…

Does Old Faithful erupt at night?

How do you turn it on?

When does the guy who turns it on get to sleep?

We had no trouble finding the park entrances, but where are the exits?

Make them into a tire and call it a Goodyear.

Yo moma amd dady so fat in high school the teacher told them to take 3 seats because of they fatness they so fat they set next to everybody.