Learn to be sincere. Even if you have to fake it.
01
Jun
01
Jun
Dont do today that which can be put off till tomorrow.
01
Jun
Q: What do a blonde and President Gorbachev have in common?
A: They both got fucked by 10 men whilst on holiday.
Q2: Whats the difference between a blonde and President Gorbachev?
A: He knows who the ten men were.
01
Jun
A man enters a bar and orders ten beer. He drinks them and orders ten more. The bartender asks:
Why do you drink that much ?
Man: today was the first time in my life I had oral sex
Bartender: Thats indeed a reason to celebrate
Man: No, Im trying to wash away the taste
31
May
Yo mama so dark she went to night school and was marked absent.
31
May
What do you call two blacks sleeping together in a sleeping bag?
Twix
30
May
One night a blonde goes to a bar, but doesnt drink. Then she walks up to a man and asks him where she lives. The man says I doent know.
Then she walks into her husband and asks if he will take her home? Hes says ok. Their home and they walk in and the blonde says why are you in my house? Her husband says why did you leave the house?
The blonde asks why couldnt I leave?
Husband says because we were suposed to do it. She asks why were we suposed to do it? Because Im your husband.
The blonde says no your not my husbands a red head.
Husband:?????????????????????????????????
30
May
One day there was an ant and an elephant walking down a street.
The ant fell into a manhole so he looked up at the elephant and said hey help me out, so the elephant lowered his dick and let the ant crawl out of the hole.
As they continued on with thier walk the elephant fell into a hole, he called out hey ant help me out of this hole. The ant said okay, Ill be back. The ant returned with a Corvette and a rope and used these to pull the elephant out.
The moral of the story is …
As long as you have a big dick, you dont need a Corvette.
30
May
A preacher was completing a temperance sermon with great expression he said, If I had all the beer in the world, Id take it and throw it into the river.
With even greater emphasis he said, And if I had all the wine in the world, Id take it and throw it into the river.
And then finally, he said, And if I had all the whiskey in he world, Id take it and throw it into the river.
He sat down.
The head elder then stood and announced, For our closing song, let us sing Hymn 365, Shall We Gather at the River.
29
May
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
Why are there 5 syllables in the word monosyllabic?
Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?