Q. What do you call a dog with no hind legs and steel balls?
A. Sparky!
16
Aug
16
Aug
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the
richest people in America. If Im not there, I go to work.
16
Aug
Knock Knock
Whos there?
Cy!
Cy who?
Cyn on the botton line!
16
Aug
Take care to get what you like or you will be forced to like what you get.
16
Aug
You know how most packages say Open here. What is the protocol if
the package says, Open somewhere else?
16
Aug
A woman driver is heading down the expressway, when all of a sudden the woman sees a tree to her left, a tree to her right, and a tree directly in front of her, so she swerves and hits a guardrail.
Later, a cop arrives and ask her what happened, to which she replied,I saw a tree to my left, a tree to my right, and a tree directly in front of me!
The cop says, Maam, there ARE trees on both sides of the road, but the one you saw directly in front of you was your air freshener.
16
Aug
Im fat, but youre ugly and I can lose weight!
16
Aug
Outside a dog, a book is a great companion. Inside a dog, its pretty dark!
16
Aug
I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldnt come to work knowing my employee records may now contain false information.
I cant come in to work today because Ill be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. OK?
When I got up this morning I took two Ex-Lax in addition to my Prozac.
I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at the Food Giant.
Ive used up all my sick days…so Im calling in dead
The voices told me to clean all the guns today.
The dog ate my car keys, So now I have to hitchhike to the vet.
16
Aug
Okay konspiracy lovers, the squadron leader for unmarked black helicopters has spilled the beans about the whole Foster Konspiracy:
It seems Bill Klinton (aka Devil Spawn, Klaytaxocchio, Billary, OurPhilanderInChief, etc.) Invited Vince FOSTER and Henry FOSTER over to the secret Hillary Condo for an evening which included consumption of large quantities of FOSTERs Lager followed by a trip to the FOSTERs Freeze for ice cream. Vince FOSTER got into an argument with Bill Klinton over the use of drug money laundered through the Whitewater accounts used to finance the construction of the aforementioned black helicopters. Vince FOSTER was done in by Hillarys personal OneWorldGovernmentGuard and spirited away, once again using the unmarked black helicopters.
Dr. FOSTERs involvement in the Konspiracy is even more astounding. It seems that OurPhilandererIn Chiefs ways have taken seed a couple of times and it has been Dr. FOSTERs job to find FOSTER homes for the illicit offspring. Of course all the abortions Dr. FOSTER performed were for Klaytaxocchios indiscretions.
The final question is motive. Why has Bill Klinton done all these dastardly deeds? The answer is surprisingly simple: It was to impress actress Jody FOSTER!