Q: What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?
A: Crisp Cringle.

En el catecismo, la consejera le pregunta a Pepito:

¿Quién fue la madre de Moisés?

La hija del Faraón, contesta Pepito de inmediato.

Te equivocas, le dice la catequista, ella tan sólo lo encontró en el Nilo, flotando en una canastita y lo adoptó.

¿Usted también se va a creer el cuento que inventó ella?, replica Pepito.

There was this guy who was on airplane, he had to go to the bathroom really bad.. Well everytime he would go to the bathroom someone was always in it.So he finally asked the flight attendant if he could use the ladies room.



She said, well sir Im not sure if that would be a good idea,you see there are buttons in there.



He says ,Oh please please I really have to go and I promise I wont push any buttons.



So she tells him go ahead,just dont push any buttons. So he goes in there hes sitting on the toilet doing his duty. Well he looks over and sees three buttons. One is yellow,one is red and one is green. He pushes the yellow button and out comes water and sprays his behind. He thinks wow that felt good, Ill press the red button.So he pushes the red button and out comes a powder puff and dries him off and powders him.So then he pushes the green button.. He passes out and wakes up in hospital.

He looks up at the flight attendant and she says you pushed the green button didnt you?



He knods.. He said What happened? She said The green button was an Automatic Tampon Remover,your dick is laying under your pillow

Five men were selecter for a survey. They were taken away to a hotel called the goldings. There they found the place covered top to bottom in golden fittnigs and furnishings, the doors were gold , the floor was gold , the roof was gold , the stairs were gold .Every thing in the lobby was gold.



They were shown to there rooms by a maid , she had golden hair , golden dress , golden tights , golden shoes , golden piney and a golden hat. She shown each man in to his room.





The rooms were decorated in yet more gold. Golden beds , golden pillows , golden windows, golden toothbrushes , golden chocolates, golden soap, golden bathrobes, golden pictures .



They woke up that morning to have a bath in a golden bath with golden taps , golden mirrors , golden tiles and a golden toilet.





They were led to the golden diningroom via the golden staircase. The dining room was exquist. Golden walls , golden chairs, golden table goldrn knives and falks , golden spoons and a golden table cloth.





Theh golden maids came in and asked if they would like cerial or poridge for breakfast , while the men talked about how plush the place was.



The first man asked for poridge , as did the second third and forth , the fith asked for cerial.





and ladies and gentialmen this proves that 4 in 5 men prefur poridge!

Knock Knock
Whos there?
Josette!
Josette who!
Josette down!

An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing.

A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready.

All set back here, Captain, came the reply, except the lawyers are still going around passing out business cards.

Whats the recipe for Clinton stew?

Put a tiny weenie into real hot water.

Estaban dos compadres y le dice uno al otro:

Oigame, compadre, tengo ganas de coger.

Yo también, compadre.

Ayúdeme compadre. Usted le hace primero de mujer y luego yo le duvuelvo el favor.

Va pues, compadre.

Ya habiéndose puesto de acuerdo, se encontraban en eso cuando le dice el compadre que la estaba haciedo de mujer:

Oiga, compadre, regáleme un besito.

¡Nombre, compadre, esas ya son culeradas!

Q: Why dont blind people skydive?
A: It scares the heck out of the dog.

Because thats how many minutes it will take to boot up!
Because thats how many diskettes will come with the installation package.
Thats how many MEG of RAM you will need.
Thats how much space it will take up on your hard disk.
Because thats the year they will ANNOUNCE the product. (delivering it is another issue!)
Thats how many pounds the manual will weigh.
Thats the number of bugs that will be discovered in the productin its first year.
Thats how many minutes you should expect to stay on hold when calling for support.
Thats how many million brain cells the average IS person will loose installing it on their network.
Thats the number of windows applications that will not work correctly without requiring an upgrade.