Old and New Jokes

Q: How many post-doctoral fellows does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One, but itll probably take three or four tries to get it right because he/she will probably give it to the technician to do.

Dan Quail does not support Viagra. Quote: Ive been using this stuff for a week and NOTHING! Its the worst suppository Ive ever used.

Men taking iron supplements are warned that taking Viagra may cause them to spin around and point north.

Rumor has it that when a truck carrying a load of Viagra slid off into the Ohio River, all the lift bridges suddenly went up.

New plans are being made to raise the Titanic. Experts plan to pump it full of Viagra, and expect it to raise right up.

For years the medical professional has been looking after the ill, to make them better. Now, with Viagra, theyre raising the dead!

The difference between Niagara and Viagra? Niagara Falls.

Its been said that if you take Viagra and Propecia (or use Rogain) at the same time, things work great — but you look like Don King, afterward.

A Viagra delivery truck was high-jacked: The police are looking for two hardened criminals. They expect a stiff penalty under the penal code.

Unconfirmed but frequent reports tell us that a man who overdosed on Viagra caused the funeral home problems – they couldnt close his coffin lid for 3 days.

Even so, were told that the funeral home industry is happy about Viagra overdoses: Lots of new stiffs means an upswing in business.

Knock Knock
Whos there?
Pharaoh!
Pharaoh who?
Pharaoh enough!

This is a real joke



(Its in Morse code)











– …. . ..-. .. –. .-.. . .- ..-. .- –. ..- -.– –. — . … – — .- -.-. — … – ..- — . … …. — .–. .- -. -.. … .- -.– … .—-. .. .—-. — –. — .. -. –. – — .- -.-. — … – ..- — . .–. .- .-. – -.– .- … .- -.. .- — .- -. -.. .. -. . . -.. .- ..-. .. –. .-.. . .- ..-. .-.-.- .—-. – …. . –. .. .-. .-.. -… .-. .. -. –. … — ..- – .- ..-. .. –. .-.. . .- ..-. .-.-.- …. . … .- -.– … –..– .—-. -. — – -… .. –. . -. — ..- –. …. .-.-.- .—-. … …. . -… .-. .. -. –. … — ..- – .- -… .. –. –. . .-. — -. . .-.-.- …. . … .- -.– … –..– .—-. … – .. .-.. .-.. -. — – -… .. –. . -. — ..- –. …. .-.-.- .—-. … …. . -… .-. .. -. –. … — ..- – .- …. ..- –. . ..-. .. –. .-.. . .- ..-. .-.-.- …. . … .- -.– … –..– .—-. … – .. .-.. .-.. -. — – -… .. –. . -. — ..- –. …. .-.-.- .—-. … …. . … .- -.– … –..– .—-. .-.. .. … – . -. –..– .- -.-. . –..– .– …. -.– -.. — -. .—-. – -.– — ..- .— ..- … – – …. .-. — .– .. – — …- . .-. -.– — ..- .-. … …. — ..- .-.. -.. . .-. .- -. -.. –. — .- … .- –. .- … — .-.. .. -. . .–. ..- — .–. ..–.. .—-.

Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
A: A mental block.

– A hand full of sheet

A teacher had a class,and she tlod her students if they answer a qustion then they would get a treat.So the teacher calls jimmy to the fort of the classroom. She asked the qustion,and jimmy answers the qustion right.
So the teacher tlod jimmy to
close his eyes and open his mouth.Jimmy did as he was told,and the teacher put a hershe kiss in his mouth.Then the teacher asked him if he could guess what she put in his mouth.Jimmy replyed no I dont know.The teacher saids
Ill give you a hint.Its what your dad always wants from your mother every morning before he goes to work,and before jimmy could answer a littel girl got up and said. Oh no jimmy spit it out its a peace of ass

An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for

airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the days route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldnt get out of her room. You cant

get out of your room? the captain asked, Why not?

The stewardess replied: There are only three doors in here, she sobbed, one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says Do Not Disturb!

Q: Why are cowgirls always bowlegged?

A: Cowboys like to eat with their hats on.

(Heard late one night on KSHE 95, the Rock of St. Louis.)

One day a city dweller decided to take a ride in the country. He
hopped into his fancy, imported sportscar, zipped out along the big highway
for a while, then got off and drove along a very rural dirt road in the
middle of farm country. After a while, he came across a farmer who was out
in the fields, driving a tractor. Funny thing was, the farmer didnt seem
to be wearing any pants.

Hey farmer, how come youre not wearing any pants?

Well, city boy, th other day I went out a-workin in the fields, an
I plum fergot t wear mah shirt. Got back to th house that night, and mah
neck was stiffer than a oak-wood board. Now this heres mah wifes idea.

Dave Kohr (drk7956@cec2)