Old and New Jokes

Youve given your gun a womans name.

Baling wire and a pair of pliers are what you consider high tech tools.

You go to the post office to research your family tree.

Your kid takes a siphon hose to show-and-tell.

Youve been on TV more than 5 times describing the sound of a tornado.

You fish in your above-ground pool. . . and catch something.

Your truck has a bumper sticker that reads, Gun control is a steady hand.

Your wife has ever torn her hose on the boogers stuck under the front of the pickup seat.

You have ever had a special loaded gun by the back door only for use on possums.

You take a fishing pole to Sea World.

The hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car.

Youve ever filled your deer tag on the golf course.

You consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.

You can amuse yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.

You have to go down to the creek to take a bath.

You think Motorola is a fancy name for a car part.

You give your girlfriend long-thorned roses hoping she wont ask for them again.

You borrow your wedding flowers from Wal-Mart.

Your huntin dawg cost more than the truck you drive him around in.

You have a Hefty bag for a convertible top.

Your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

You think a strip joint is where they disassemble cars.

You are in 6 grade and the only one in your family that can write your name.

Youve ever been stuck in your own driveway.

Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

Someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle.

Your Junior/Senior Prom had a day care.

You have refused to watch the Academy Awards since Smokey and the Bandit was snubbed for best picture.

None of your shirts cover your stomach.

Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.