Q: What happened when Bill Clinton got a shot of testosterone?
A: He turned into Hillary!
31
Dec
31
Dec
One night, Bill Clinton was awakened by George Washingtons ghost in the White House. Clinton saw him and asked, George, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?
Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did, advised George.
The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moved through the dark bedroom. Tom, what is the best thing I could do to help the country? Clinton asked.
Cut taxes and reduce the size of government, advised Tom.
Clinton didnt sleep well the next night, and saw another figure moving in the shadows. It was Abraham Lincolns ghost. Abe, what is the best thing I could do to help the country? Clinton asked.
Go to the theatre.
31
Dec
Bill and Hillary were going down a back road and stopped at a gas station.
As the worker was filling up their car, he said to Hillary I went to high school with you. She recognized him and agreed with him.
Later as they were driving down the road Bill said If you had married him you wouldnt be married to the President.
Hillary said Oh yes I would–he would be President.
31
Dec
Acute: Opposite of an ugly
Artery: The study of paintings
Bacteria: Back door of a cafeteria
Barium: What doctors do to dead patients
Benign: What you are after youre eight.
Bowel: Letter like A,E,I,O, or U
Cat scan: Searching for a kitty
Cauterize: Made eye contact with her
Cesarean Section: Neighborhood in Rome
Colic: A sheep dog
31
Dec
Q: Whats the difference between Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter?
A: It took Bill less than 100 days to botch a military mission.
31
Dec
If Clinton wanted legislation to burn down the Capitol building, Republicans in the Senate would introduce a compromise bill to burn it down over three years.
31
Dec
Bill: Have you heard my last speech?
Hillary: No, I didnt know it was the last one!
31
Dec
Q: How can you tell if it was a shared computer used by many staffers?
A: There is writing on the White-out.
31
Dec
Q: What is the difference between liberalism and socialism?
A: Socialism is dead.
31
Dec
Q: What kind of neckwear does Hillary Clinton look best in?
A: A noose.