What do you call a blonde in a freezer?
Frosted flakes……..
31
Dec
31
Dec
Why did the blonde climb the glass wall??
To see what was on the other side
31
Dec
The blonde complained to her friend, I have a man I never could trust. Why, he cheats so much Im not even sure this baby Im carrying is his!
31
Dec
Airport Security alerted an airline crew to keep an eye a blonde passenger who appeared excessively nervous and shifty-eyed. Soon after takeoff, the blonde man called a stewardess to his seat and said, I have a live grenade in my pocket. Ill blow up the plane if you do not divert to Cairo.
Perplexed, the stewardess said, But, sir. This is TWA flight 1219 to Cairo.
Damn! replied the blonde passenger, I got on the wrong plane.
31
Dec
Q: How many blondes does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies?
A1: 10. One to mix the dough and nine to peel the smarties.
A2: Three…one to mix the batter and two to squeeze the rabbit.
Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?
A: Proofreading.
Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: For throwing out the Ws.
Q: How do you tell if a blonde did your landscaping?
A: The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.
Q: What did the blondes mum say to her before the blondes date.
A: If youre not in bed by 12, come home.
Q: Whats the Blondes cheer?
A: Im blonde, Im blonde, Im B-L-O-N….ah, oh well.. Im blonde, Im blonde, yea yea yea…
Q: Why does a blonde only change her babys diapers every month?
A: Because it says right on it good for up to 20 pounds.
Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: She threw it off a cliff.
Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.
Q: What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs?
A: Nice tits!
31
Dec
A San Francisco tourist is taking a stroll through Golden Gate Park when he’s attacked by three horny sailors.
They strip him, tie him over a tree branch so he can’t move and butt fuck him repeatedly, then leave him tied-up and helpless.
Hours later he spies a policeman through the trees and calls for help.
The cop strolls over.
Well Hello! What have we here? the cop asks.
The poor tourist quickly relates his ordeal with the sailors.
Really?, says the cop, “It’s not your day for uniforms . . . as the cop unzips his fly,. . . now is it sir?
31
Dec
Three men were trekking through the desert and came across a magician. The magician was standing at the top of a slide. The magician than said, You may each go down the slide, asking for a drink. When you reach the bottom of the slide you shall land in a huge glass of that drink. The first man went down yelling, Beerrr!!! Plop! He landed in a glass of beer. The second guy went down the slide yelling,lemonadeee!!! Plop! He landed in a glass of lemonade. The third guy went down the slide yelling wheeeeeeeee!!!
31
Dec
Whats the difference between boogers and broccoli?
Kids dont eat broccoli!
31
Dec
There was an old man in a nursing home who always fell out of his wheelchair. Finally, the nurses decided to do something about it, so they appointed a nurse to watch him all the time. He started to lean foward so the nurse stuck a pillow in front of him. Then he started to lean backward so she stuck a pillow behind him. Then he started to lean to the left so she stuck a pillow to the left of him. Then he leaned to the right and she stuck a pillow to the right of him. Later on that day, his son came to visit him. Dad, why do you have all those pillows around you? Well, the nurses around here wont let me fart!
31
Dec
There was a man who would come home blind drunk every night and vomit in the bathroom sink, and every night the mans wife would warn him that someday he would puke up his guts.
One day the wife cut up a chicken and left the guts in the sink, just to give him a scare. At about 3:00 a.m. the man came home and spewed in the same sink as always. About 30 minutes later, the man came out of the bathroom and said to his wife,You were right honey, I really did puke up my guts, but dont worry, with the help of this long wooden spoon, I managed to put them all back.