Q: Which of the following doesnt belong: wife, meat, eggs,blowjob?
A: The blowjob. You can beat your wife, your eggs, or your meat; but you just cant beat a blowjob.
31
Dec
31
Dec
An office manager had money problems & had to fire an employee, either Jack or Jill… He thought hed fire the employee who came late to work the next morning. Well, both employees came to work very early. Then the manager thought he would catch the first one who took a coffee
break. Unfortunately, neither employee took a coffee break. Then the manager decided to see who took the longest lunch break – strangely, neither Jack nor Jill took a lunch break that day, they both ate at their desk.
Then the manager thought hed wait & see who would leave work the earliest, and both employees stayed after closing. Jill finally went to the coat rack & the manager went up to her & said, Jill, I have a terrible problem. I dont know whether to lay you or Jack off.
Jill said, Well, youd better jack off, because Im late for my bus.
31
Dec
Q. What do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in
common?
A. They can both smell it but cant eat it.
31
Dec
Q. Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
A. The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.
Q. Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony?
A. She is the one who can eat the last donut!
31
Dec
Q. What has seventy-five balls and screws old ladies?
A. Bingo!
31
Dec
31
Dec
Q. What did the egg say to the boiling water?
A. How can you expect me to get hard so fast? I just got
laid a minute ago.
31
Dec
Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods when suddenly
the Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, holding a machete to
her throat, said, Red, Im going to screw your brains out! To that, Little
Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket and pulled out a
.44 magnum and pointed it at him and said, No youre not! Youre going
to eat me, just like it says in the book!
31
Dec
HabÃa un loro en una rama de un árbol que gritaba a todo pulmón: ¡YO SOY EL REY DE LA SELVA! ¡YO SOY EL REY DE LA SELVA! En ese momento llegó el León y de un zarpazo lo mandó lejos herido, desplumado y, además, inconsciente.
Al rato pasaron unos ecologistas y se llevaron al lorito para curarlo. Una vez que le habÃan curado todas sus heridas lo colocaron en una jaula. Al cabo de 2 horas reaccionó el lorito y empezó a gritar: ¡Cómo le habré dado su tunda al león que hasta me metieron preso!
31
Dec
HabÃa un mago que trabajaba en un barco y tenÃa un loro parlanchÃn, que siempre que hacÃa magia lo llevaba encima del hombro. En una actuación esto fue lo que ocurrió:
Señoras y señores con ustedes el mago Monchi con su loro Pedro. Aplausos. Sale el mago y empieza a hacer sus trucos. En el momento en que mete un reloj en sombrero y saca un conejo, dice el loro: ¡El reloj está debajo de la mesa!
Otro truco: El mago pone a una chica en un baúl y la hace desaparecer. Dice el loro: La chica se ha ido por la puerta que está debajo de la mesa!
De pronto llega una tormenta y el barco se hunde y sólo sobreviven el mago y el loro. Pasan dÃas y dÃas y el loro no dice nada. El mago dice: Habla ahora. ¿Por qué no hablas? El loro sigue callado.
Al cabo de un mes, dice el loro: Me rindo, dime donde carajos escondiste el barco.