The following are letters from children to GOD.
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Dear GOD, In school they told us what You do. Who does it when You are on vacation?
-Jane
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Dear GOD, I read the Bible. What does begat mean? Nobody will tell me.
Love, Alison
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Dear GOD, Are you really invisible or is that just a trick?
-Lucy
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Dear GOD, Is it true my father wont get in Heaven if he uses his bowling words in the house?
-Anita
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Dear GOD, Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident?
-Norma
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Dear GOD, Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why dont You just keep the ones You have now?
-Jane
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Dear GOD, Who draws the lines around the countries?
-Nan
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Dear GOD, I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay?
-Neil
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Dear GOD, What does it mean You are a Jealous God? I thought You had everything.
-Jane
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Dear GOD, Did you really mean do unto others as they do unto you? Because if you did, then Im going to fix my brother.
-Darla
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Dear GOD, Thank you for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy.
-Joyce
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Dear GOD, It rained for our whole vacation and is my father mad! He said some things about You that people are not supposed to say, but I hope You will not hurt him anyway. Your friend (But I am not going to tell you who I am)
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Dear GOD, Why is Sunday school on Sunday? I thought it was supposed to be our day of rest.
-Tom L.
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Dear GOD, Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before, You can look it up.
-Bruce
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Dear GOD, If we come back as something – please dont let me be Jennifer Horton because I hate her.
-Denise
Q: What kind of lettuce was served on the Titanic?
A: Iceberg.
Q: What is the ultimate rejection ?
A: Your hand falls asleep while masterbating.
Q: Why did they kick raggedy ann out of the toy box?
A: Because she was always sitting on pinnochios face saying lie to me, lie to me.
Q: What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A: A nervous wreck.
Q: What do the gynecologist and the Pizza delivery man have in common?
A: They both get to smell the goods but neither one of them can eat it.
Q: How is pubic hair like parsley?
A: You push it to the side before you start eating.
Q: Why did Frosty the snow man pull down his pants?
A: He saw the snow blower coming!
Q: What did the penis say to the condom?
A: Cover me Im going in!
Q: Whats the difference between pink and purple?
A: The grip!!!!!