Each problem solved introduces a new unsolved problem.
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31
Dec
Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment.
31
Dec
Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening.
31
Dec
If you have to ask, you are not entitled to know.
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Dec
Always listen to experts. Theyll tell what cant be done and why. Then do it.
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Dec
If some people didnt tell you, youd never know theyd been away on vacation.
31
Dec
If you are feeling good, dont worry. Youll get over it.
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Dec
1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.
2. If its really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every ten minutes to inquire how its going. That helps.
3. Always leave without telling anyone where youre going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.
4. If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books, or supplies, dont open the door for me. I need to learn how to function as a paraplegic and opening doors is good training.
5. If you give me more than one job to do, dont tell me which is the priority. Let me guess.
6. Do your best to keep me late. I like the office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do.
7. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. Leaks like that could cost mea promotion.
8. If you dont like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversation.
9. If you have special instructions for a job, dont write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done.
10. Never introduce me to the people youre with. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.
11. Be nice to me only when the job Im doing for you could really change your life.
12. Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and its nice to know someone is less fortunate.
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Dec
When things are going well, someone will inevitably experiment detrimentally.
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Dec
Fetts Law: Never replicate a successful experiment.