Miss Ashley was new to teaching at the junior high school and decided to test the general knowledge of her new class.

Who can tell me who brought down the walls of Jericho?, she asked.



Wasnt me, Miss!, came a swift reply from the front row.



Somewhat taken aback that no-one knew the answer, she reported what had happened in the staff room at break.



A fellow teacher asked, The fellow who answered, was he the little one with red hair and glasses in the front?



Yes, she replied.



Well, said the other teacher, I know him, and if he said that he didnt do it, then he didnt!!



Now Miss Ashley was quite upset. She decided to go to the Principal. She told him what had happened, and the reaction of the other teacher who should have known better.



The Principal looked at her for a moment, then he said, Look, Miss Ashley. You are new around here. There is no point in making trouble. Write me up an invoice for the damage to the walls, and Ill submit it to the insurance company on Monday.

A man and his wife were going on a cruise for their honeymoon. They packed their bags and got ready to go but forgot to things…Condoms and Dramamine for the man had the terrible misfortune of getting motion sickness on ships.

So the man and his wife stop at the store on the way to the cruise and the man goes in to get the necessary supplies. He walks to the counter with a plenty pack of condoms and asks for the largest bottle of Dramamine available.



The pharmacist looks at him for a second and then asks him, If it makes you so sick, why do you do it?

What is the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomanic and a
Jewish American Princess?

A prositute says Are you done yet?

A nymphomanic says Youre done already!!

A Jewish American Princess says Beige,…..I think Ill
paint the ceiling beige

I is a college student.

Food is an important part of a balanced diet.

Yo mama so fat that she saw a school bus go by and she said Hey, stop that twinkie!

Yo mama so ugly, she has to stand beside Michael Jackson just to look normal.

One day 3 men went to a shrine to ask the Father for forgivness.

The first man went to the Father and said: Father, Father I have sinned! Father: What have you done? The first man: I have lied! Father: Drink the Holy water and you will be saved. And so the man drank the water and was saved.

Then the second man went up to the Father and said: Father, Father I have sinned! Father: What have you done? The second man: I have stolen from the jewelers! Father: Drink the Holy water and you will be saved. And so the man drank the holy water and was saved.

The third man went up to the Father and said: Father, Father I have sinned! Father: What have you done? The third man: I peed in the Holy water!

A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause were going down the tracks.

The mother went nuts and told her son, We dont use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language.

Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon. She hears the little boy continue, For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today.

As the mother began to smile, the child added, For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen.

Man goes into a drugstore and up to a female pharmacist. Can I help you?
Yes, answered the man. What can you give me for a priapism? How about
$500 in cash and part ownership of a drugstore?