Q: How do you get a blondes eyes to twinkle?
A: Shine a torch in her ears.

Q: What does a blonde say when she gives birth?

A: Gee, are you sure its mine?

Ok class, does anyone know what Beethovens last movement was? A teacher asks her pupils.Yes, Lil Johnny pipes up, He fell off his stool!

A kid is walking down the road, when a car pulls up next to him.

The man in the car opens the window and asks the kid if in return for a sweet he will come in his car.

To which the boy replies GIVE ME A FIVER AND ILL COME IN YOUR FACE!!!!

What do a walrus and a tupperware container have in common?

They both like a tight seal.

A man asked a blonde what she thought about blonde jokes. She replied, I think they are good but they might be offensive to some mexicans."

How do you cure constipation?

Sit on a block of cheese and swallow a mouse!

When its going cheap!

Im sure you could imagine,

Its as simple as can be,

The place is very common

the place for he and she.

she whispers, will it hurt?

or course not, he replied,

it wont hurt a bit

on me you can rely.

Im getting rather frightened,

Ive never done this before.

He continued to convince her

as he shut the door.

Now calm yourself my darling,

as he displayed a little grin.

Just open a little wider

and let me put it in.

Its getting rather painful

the tears were in her eyes.

Its hurting very badly

it must be quite a size.

Suddenly she jumped up

and gave a little shout

and then that very minute

she said, Im glad you pulled it out!

If you listen very carefully,

Its a dentist you will find.

Its not what your thinking,

Its just your dirty mind!

Q: How do we know that G-d has a sense of humor?

A: When he gave us the land of milk and honey he knew that we were lactose intolerant!

Barry Abrams