Un borracho que va por la calle le pregunta a un señor:

Perdón, la calle Miramar.

Y el amable señor le contesta:

Es la que viene.

Y el borracho dice:

¡Ah, pues entonces la espero!

The Differences:



HIM:

1. Pull up to ATM

2. Insert card

3. Enter PIN number and account

4. Take cash, card and receipt

HER:

1. Pull up to ATM

2. Check makeup in rearview mirror

3. Shut off engine

4. Put keys in purse

5. Get out of car because youre too far from machine

6. Hunt for card in purse

7. Insert card

8. Hunt in purse for tampon wrapper with PIN number written on it

9. Enter PIN number

10. Study instructions for at least 2 minutes.

11. Hit cancel

12. Re-enter correct PIN number

12A Hit cancel

12B Call husband to get correct PIN number

13. Check balance

14. Look for envelope

15. Look in purse for pen

16. Make out deposit slip

17. Endorse checks

18. Make deposit

19. Study instructions

20. Make cash withdrawal

21. Get in car

22. Check makeup

23. Look for keys

24. Start car

25. Check makeup

26. Start pulling away

27. STOP

28. Back up to machine

29. Get out of car

30. Take card and receipt

31. Get back in car

32. Put card in wallet

33. Put receipt in checkbook

34. Enter deposits and withdrawals in checkbook

35. Clear area in purse for wallet and checkbook

36. Check makeup

37. Put car in gear, reverse

38. Put car in drive

39. Drive away from machine

40. Travel 3 miles

41. Release parking brake

There was a young lady from France



Who got on a bus in a trance



Everyone fucked her



Apart from the Conductor



But he came twice in his pants.

My darling wife was always glum. I drowned her in a cask of rum, And so made sure that she would stay, In better spirits night and day.

Bills Attempt to Seize Industry Control

Why does a Jewish American Princess wear a gold diaphragm?

So her boyfriend will think he is coming into money.

The girl knelt in the confessional and said, Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. What is it, child? Father, I have committed the sin of vanity. Twice a day I gaze at myself in the mirror and tell myself how beautiful I am. The priest turned, took a good look at the girl, and said, My dear, I have good news. That isnt a sin – its only a mistake.

When she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease the doctor gave her 13
years to live.

You might be a redneck if…
You have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.