A una ama de casa, un contador público y un abogado se les pregunta: ¿Cuánto es 2+2?
La ama de casa responde de inmediato: ¡cuatro!
El contador público responde: Creo que es 3 ó 4. Déjame correr la macro de mi hoja de cálculo una vez más.
El abogado baja la intensidad de la luz, y entrecerrando los ojos y con tono suave contesta: ¿Cuanto quiere que sea?
Llega un señor al baño de un restaurant y ve a un cubano orinando, y se acerca a preguntarle cómo le hacen los cubanos para tenerla tan grandota. El cubano le responde, No, pue eque acá en Cuba dede chiquitico nosotros nos amarramo una piedra en el pene para que nos crezca.
El señor se va a su casa y se amarra una piedra…
Pasó un mes y el señor se encuentra al cubano de nuevo en el restaurant y el cubano le pregunta, ¿Cómo va señor con lo de la piedra?
Pues grande todavÃa no la tengo, ¡pero negra ya se puso!
Miss Ashley was new to teaching at the junior high school and decided to test the general knowledge of her new class.
Who can tell me who brought down the walls of Jericho?, she asked.
Wasnt me, Miss!, came a swift reply from the front row.
Somewhat taken aback that no-one knew the answer, she reported what had happened in the staff room at break.
A fellow teacher asked, The fellow who answered, was he the little one with red hair and glasses in the front?
Yes, she replied.
Well, said the other teacher, I know him, and if he said that he didnt do it, then he didnt!!
Now Miss Ashley was quite upset. She decided to go to the Principal. She told him what had happened, and the reaction of the other teacher who should have known better.
The Principal looked at her for a moment, then he said, Look, Miss Ashley. You are new around here. There is no point in making trouble. Write me up an invoice for the damage to the walls, and Ill submit it to the insurance company on Monday.
A man and his wife were going on a cruise for their honeymoon. They packed their bags and got ready to go but forgot to things…Condoms and Dramamine for the man had the terrible misfortune of getting motion sickness on ships.
So the man and his wife stop at the store on the way to the cruise and the man goes in to get the necessary supplies. He walks to the counter with a plenty pack of condoms and asks for the largest bottle of Dramamine available.
The pharmacist looks at him for a second and then asks him, If it makes you so sick, why do you do it?
What is the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomanic and a
Jewish American Princess?
A prositute says Are you done yet?
A nymphomanic says Youre done already!!
A Jewish American Princess says Beige,…..I think Ill
paint the ceiling beige
I is a college student.
Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
Yo mama so fat that she saw a school bus go by and she said Hey, stop that twinkie!
Yo mama so ugly, she has to stand beside Michael Jackson just to look normal.
One day 3 men went to a shrine to ask the Father for forgivness.
The first man went to the Father and said: Father, Father I have sinned! Father: What have you done? The first man: I have lied! Father: Drink the Holy water and you will be saved. And so the man drank the water and was saved.
Then the second man went up to the Father and said: Father, Father I have sinned! Father: What have you done? The second man: I have stolen from the jewelers! Father: Drink the Holy water and you will be saved. And so the man drank the holy water and was saved.
The third man went up to the Father and said: Father, Father I have sinned! Father: What have you done? The third man: I peed in the Holy water!