A blonde walks into a hair dresser with a walkman on. She tells the guy to cut whatever he wants just as long as he cuts around the headphones. So the guy says cool until he runs into a problem, he says Ms.? Ms.? Finally he just takes them off and the blonde drops dead!!
He puts the headphones on and he hears BREATHE IN…..BREATHE OUT…..BREATHE IN…..BREATHE OUT.
06
Jun
06
Jun
During USCs commencement, the President was giving his usual address to the graduating class. While he was giving his address, some people in the back began to chant, Graduate Bubba, graduate Bubba. After a few minutes, the chant grew so loud that the President could no longer continue with his address. He says, Alright, I give up. Bubba, come on up here. This really huge offensive lineman comes up on stage. The President asks, Are you Bubba? Bubba replies quietly, Yes sir.
How long have you been here at USC Bubba?
Six years sir.
Six years and you still havent graduated?
No sir.
Alright Bubba, Ill tell you what. If you can answer one question correctly, Ill graduate you right here on the spot. Is that fair?
Bubba once again says in his quiet voice, Yes sir. So the President then asks him, Ok Bubba, whats nine times nine? Bubba quickly gets to work, counting on his fingers and anything else he finds. After nearly five minutes of counting and recounting Bubba finally says, I got it. The President then asks, So Bubba, whats nine times nine? Eighty-one, replies Bubba. The crowd, in a unanimous roar, begins to chant, GIVE BUBBA ANOTHER CHANCE, GIVE BUBBA ANOTHER CHANCE.
06
Jun
Dont look back, something may be gaining on you.
06
Jun
What happens when an [ethnic] stops paying his garbage bill?
They stop delivering.
06
Jun
There is a whorehouse on a hill. There is one person going to it, one
person leaving from it, and one person inside it. What are there
nationalities?
The man going up is Russian,
The man going away is Finnish,
and the man inside is Himalayan.
06
Jun
Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with something bigger and heavier.
06
Jun
Ive learned that we dont have to ditch bad friends because
their dysfunction makes us feel better about ourselves.
06
Jun
That was the last time they saw female genitalia!
06
Jun
You might be a redneck if…
Your momma calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tire…on her house
06
Jun
The biology teacher at the all-girls academy was handing back a test on the male anatomy.
I dont understand why you girls cant understand the male sex organ. Youve had it pounded into you all semester!