This guy decides to get a sex change. So he goes to the doctors and has the thing done. A couple of weeks later he was talking to one of his old buddies about it.
Gee, it must have really hurt when they shot all that silicon into your chest to make your breasts.
Not really, I hardly felt it.
Well, it must have really hurt when they chopped off your manhood!
Nope, I didnt really feel it either. The only thing that really hurt was when they drilled a hole in my skull and sucked out half my brain!
A couple in Lawrence, MA were charged with criminal neglect after they left their dog unattended in the car in 90 degree heat.
But the dog wasnt really alone. Heidi Dreher and Kenneth Reader also left their two children, aged 4 and 5, in the car for at least half an hour while they negotiated a drug deal, police say.
Massachusetts law forbids people from leaving an animal unattended in a car but does not forbid the same treatment of children.
As far as we know, child neglect is a civil matter that we dont get involved with, said a lawyer with the Essex County D.A.s office.
Source: Boston Globe
A priest was hearing confessions one afternoon when a man entered and confessed: Bless me, Father for I have sinned. I slept with Pussy Green.
The priest gave him absolution and told him his pennance and the man went away. The next man entered the confessional and said: Bless me father for I have sinned, I slept with Pussy Green.
The priest thought about this coincidence, dismissed it, and gave the man his absolution and pennance.
However, over the course of the afternoon, 10 men confessed to sleeping with Pussy Green. This was very perplexing to the priest. As he was closing up the church later in the afternoon with the help of an alter boy, the priest noticed a woman walking down the church isle.
This woman was all decked out in green – green hat, green boots, green dress, green hand-bag.
The priest turned and asked to alterboy, Is that Pussy Green?
The alterboy looked and replied, I dont think so, Father, I think it is just a reflection off her boots.
Bert met Flo in a bar one night and began buying her drinks. They hit it off pretty well and soon Bert suggested they go to his apartment for some extracurricular activity.
Well it wasnt long before they found themselves in bed making passionate love. As they were making love though, Bert noticed that Flos toes would curl up as he was thrusting in and out.
When they were done, Bert laid back on the bed and said, I must of been pretty good tonight. I noticed your toes curling up when I was going in and out.
Flo looked at him and smiled. That usually happens when you forget to remove my pantyhose!
Knock Knock
Whos there?
Peas!
Peas who?
Peas of the rock!
25. Thou shalt not hack.
Un tipo que se dirige a trabajar es solicitado por Manolo, que estaba de paseo por ahÃ:
Oiga, por favor, ¿me podrÃa decir que autobús tengo que abordar para ir al museo de la ciudad?
SÃ, aquà mismo, coja el número 48.
A mediodÃa, nuestro hombre vuelve del trabajo para ir a comer y se encuentra a Manolo que está todavÃa esperando en la parada del autobús.
Pero ¿qué hace todavÃa aquÃ, no le dije que cogiera el 48?
SÃ, ya han pasado cuarenta y tres autobuses, sólo faltan cinco.
El mozo de bar se niega a servirle una copa más a un tipo que está completamente ebrio. El beodo le reclama con prepotencia:
¡Eh, tú! ¿No sabes quién soy?
Realmente lo ignoro, señor. Pero no se preocupe, que ya se acordará cuando se le baje la borrachera, le contesta el camarero con circunspección.
If you think you have problems, consider the problems of Plutonius Maximus
Translation from Latin 21 Scroll
Dear Cassias
Are you working on the Y zero K problem? This change from BC to AD is giving us a lot of headaches and we havent much time left. I dont know how people will cope with working the wrong way round. Having been working happily downwards for ever, now we have to start thinking upwards.. You would think that someone would have thought of it earlier and not left us to sort it out at the last minute.
I spoke to Caesar the other evening. He was livid that Julius hadnt done something about it when he was sorting out the calendar. He could see why Brutus turned nasty. He called in Consultus, but he simply said that continuing downward using minus BC wont work, and as usual charged a fortune for doing nothing useful.
Surely we wont have to throw out all our hardware and start again? Machard will make yet another fortune out of this I suppose. The money lenders are paranoid of course! I have been told that usery rates will invert and they will have to pay their clients to take out loans! Its an ill wind.
As for myself, I just cant see the sand in the hourglass flowing upwards. We have heard that there are three wise men in the East who are working on the problem, but unfortunately they wont arrive until its all over. I have heard that there are plans to stable all horses at midnight as there are fears that they will stop and try to run backwards, causing immense damage to chariots and possible loss of life.
Some say the World will end at the moment of transition. Anyway, we are still continuing to work on the blasted Y0K problem. I will send you a parchment if anything further develops. If you should have any bright ideas, please let me know.
Plutonius Maximus
Knock Knock
Whos there?
Julie!
Julie who!
Julie you door unlocked?