Frank was walking down the street one day, when he runs into his buddy Joe.
Joe asks Frank how hes doing and Frank replies: N-N-Not b-b-bad, b-b-but Ive d-d-developed th-th-this s-s-stutter from a c-c-car accident I was r-r-recently involved in. N-N-Now my l-l-love life s-s-sucks, and I c-c-cant f-f-find a j-j-job.
Joe tells him of this speech therapist he knows and recommends he go see the guy. Frank agrees and thanks him. A couple of weeks later, they run into each other again, and Joe asks Frank how he made out.
Thank you for the referral. He cured me just by making me talk slower. Now I have a good job and Im engaged to the boss daughter.
Thats excellent! Congratulations! replied Joe.
And off they went their separate ways. Another two weeks or so pass, and once again Frank and Joe meet on the street.
Hey, Frank, hows it going? asks Joe.
T-T-T-T-Terrible, says Frank. Im n-n-no l-l-longer eng-g-g-aged and I l-l-l-ost my job!
Why? What could have happened in two weeks Frank?
W-w-w-well, the other night I was having dinner at the b-b-boss house and the cat was scratching behind his ear. I said L-l-l-l-ook, Honey! T-t-t-t-hats w-w-w-w-hat you d-d-d-d-o to me, but by the time I f-f-f-finished w-w-w-hat I was saying the cat was l-l-l-icking his b-b-balls…
Posted in General / Unsorted |
A man is holding his wifes hand as she lays on her death
bed.
Jerry, I, . . ., I have something to tell you before I pass
on.
No, no, dear. Everything is forgiven now. All is well.
No, Jerry. Ive been carrying this load for years now, and I
must tell you. I, . . ., Ive been unfaithful to you. I
slept with your best friend, Phil. Im so terribly sorry.
Yes, dear, I know. Why do you think I poisoned you?
Ron Baakkonen U.C. Berkeley
Posted in General / Unsorted |
Q: How many Clinton White House officials does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. They like to keep him in the dark!
Posted in Political |
Q: How many Italian-Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: I dont know exactly, but my brothers girlfriends fathers boss secretarys sisters next door neighbors priests cousins union shop stewards uncles Knights Of Columbus club Seargant-of-Arms nephews best friend did it real cheap for me once.
Posted in Lightbulb |
Un padre de Tontilandia envÃa a su hijo a estudiar al extranjero y al paso del tiempo le escribe el siguiente telegrama:
Hijo, te extraño mucho, dime que prefieres: ¿que yo vaya a visitarte o vienes tu a casa?
A la semana el hijo le responde: Si.
El padre envÃa otro telegrama y le pregunta: Si… ¿qué?
Dos semanas más tarde, el hijo vuelve a responder: SÃ, padre.
Posted in Chistes chistosos |
Why do women wear make up and perfume?
Because theyre often under increasing pressure from a society which over- simplifies the process of ascertaining ones worth and attractiveness by reducing someone down to individual physical attributes.
…or is it because theyre ugly and they smell bad?
Posted in General / Unsorted |
You came of age in the 60s and dont remember Bob Dylan.
Posted in Political |
Q. Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?
A. When you take it off you wonder where her tits went.
Posted in Love and marriage |
A burglary was recently committed at West Hams ground and the entire contents of the trophy room were stolen. The police are looking for a man with a claret & blue carpet.
The seven dwarves are down in the mines when there is a cave-in. Snow White runs to the entrance and yells down to them. In the distance a voice shouts out Charlton are good enough to win the European Cup. Snow White says Well at least Dopeys alive!
Q: How does Stan Collymore change a lightbulb?
A: He holds it in the air, and the world revolves around him
The Fire brigade phones George Graham in the early hours of Sunday morning.
Mr Graham sir, White Hart Lane is on fire!
The cups man! Save the cups! cries George.
Uh, the fire hasnt spread to the canteen yet, sir.
Apparently, Harry Redknapp offered to send the West Ham squad on an expenses paid holiday to Florida but they said theyd rather go to Blackpool so they could see what its like to ride on an open-top bus.
Big Ron was caught speeding on his way to the City Ground today.
Ill do anything for 3 points, he said when questioned.
The Nottingham Forest Chairman is considering replacing Big Ron with Steve Davis. Explaining this unusual move, he said we dont just need points now, we need snookers!
British Rail have decided to start sponsoring Forest. BR think they are a suitable team because of their regular points failures.
Posted in Sports |