Things (NOT) to Do or Say at or for Your Thesis Defense
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1. Ladies and Gentlemen, please rise for the singing of our National Anthem…
2. Charge 25 cents a cup for coffee.
3. Charge the mound when a professor beans you with a high fast question.
4. Describe parts of your thesis using interpretive dance.
5. Musical accompaniment provided by…
6. Stage your own death/suicide.
7. Lead the specators in a Wave.
8. Have a sing-a-long.
9. You call THAT a question? How the hell did they make you a professor?
10. Ladies and Gentlemen, as I dim the lights, please hold hands and
concentrate so that we may channel the spirit of Lord Kelvin…
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