What is the difference between men and pigs?
Pigs dont turn into men when they drink.
05
Oct
04
Oct
04
Oct
Un psicólogo venezolano llama a un colega a las 2 de la mañana:
¡Tienes que venirte para mi consultorio inmediatamente!
¿A las 2 de la mañana?
¡Es que tengo un caso único aquÃ!
Pero… ¿de que se trata?
¡Tengo un caso de complejo de inferioridad!
¿Estas loco?… ¡yo atiendo a MILES de pacientes asÃ, todos los dÃas!
SÃ, sÃ… pero… ¿argentino?
04
Oct
Un desnudista que camina por una playa solitaria se detiene ante unos letreros que advierten:
¡Cuidado con los homosexuales!
¡CuÃdese de los gays!
¡Protéjase de los pájaros!
El hombre, sorprendido, se dice a sà mismo:
¿Cómo que me cuide de los homosexuales, si esta playa está solitaria?
El tipo no hace caso y sigue su paseo. Metros después, ve un letrerito muy pequeño que despierta su curiosidad. Cuando se agacha a leerlo, ve el siguiente mensaje:
¡SE LO ADVERTIMOS!
04
Oct
You wonder if donations to the Pentagon are tax-deductable.
04
Oct
Knock Knock
Whos there?
Hanover!
Hanover who?
Hanover your money!
04
Oct
Fluggs Law: When you need to knock on wood is when you realize that the world is composed of vinyl, naugahyde and aluminum.
04
Oct
Automatic simply means that you cant repair it yourself.
04
Oct
God was a bitch. Thats why testicles are on the outside.
04
Oct
A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each kid in the class the first half of the proverb, and asked them to come up with the rest. Here is what the kids came up with:
Better to be safe than… punch a 5th grader.
Strike while the… bug is close.
Its always darkest before… daylight savings time.
Never underestimate the power of… termites.
You can lead a horse to water but … how?
Dont bite the hand that… looks dirty.
No news is… impossible.
A miss is as good as a… Mr.
You cant teach an old dog… math.
If you lie down with dogs, you… will stink in the morning.
Love all, trust… me.
The pen is mightier than… the pigs.
An idle mind is… the best way to relax.
Where there is smoke, theres… pollution.
Happy is the bride who… gets all the presents.
A penny saved is… not much.
Two is company, threes… The Musketeers.
None are so blind as… Helen Keller.
Children should be seen and not… spanked or grounded.
If at first you dont succeed… get new batteries.
You get out of something what you… see pictured on the box.
When the blind lead the blind… get out of the way.
There is no fool like… Aunt Edie.
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you. Cry and… you have to blow your nose.