A woman goes to her boyfriends parents house for dinner. This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.
The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water.
Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty fart. It wasnt loud, but everyone at the table heard the pouf. Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriends father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing at the womans feet and said in a rather stern voice, Skippy!.
The woman thought, This is great! and a big smile came across her face. A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again. This time, she didnt even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer fart rip.
The father again looked and the dog and yelled, Dammit Skippy!
Once again the woman smiled and thought Yes!. A few minutes later the woman had to let another one rip. This time she didnt even think about it. She let rip a fart that rivaled a train whistle blowing! Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, Dammit Skippy, get away from her before she shits on you!
How many Ken Starrs does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but it costs forty million dollars, and takes a long time
because he keeps asking about the screw part.
Why isnt Monica Lewinsky talking to the press?
Shes under a gag order.
Q. Why do Mexicans drive lowriders?
A. So they can pick cabbage and drive at the same time.
666
The number of the Beast
664
The Neighbor of The beast
667
Across the street from the Beast
660
Estimated number of the Beast
666-66-6666
SSN of the Beast
666.0666
The number of the High-Performance Beast
0.666
Number of the milliBeast
1/666
The Denominator of the Beast
666[-/(-1)]
The Imaginary Number of the Beast
1010011010
The Binary Number of the Beast
29A
The Hexidecimal Number of the Beast
1-666
The Area Code of the Beast
60666
The Zip Code of the Beast (somewhere in Chicago)
1-900-666-6666
The Psychic Beast ($6.66 for 666 seconds – over 18, please)
$666.00
MSRP of the Beast
$726.66
The price, including sales tax, delivered
$10,666.95
Price, with leather, sun-roof, and radials
$566.69
The Wal-mart price of the Beast
Phillips 666
The gas the Beast runs best on
Route 666
The road the Beast likes best
666ºF
The temperature at which to roast Beast
666 k
Retirement plan of the Beast
666 mg
Minimum Daily Required dosage of Beast
6.66%
Annual Percentage Rate on a mortgage from First Beast Bank
DSM-666(r)
Diagnostic and Statistics Manual of the Beast (revised)
Lotus 6-6-6
Spreadsheet of the Beast
DOS 6.66
Operating system of the Beast
i68666
CPU of the Beast
666tii
BMW of the Beast
Q: Why do lawyers always wear neck ties?
A: To keep the foreskin from flopping up and hitting them in the face.
Drug Dealers
Software Developers
Refer to their clients as users.
Refer to their clients as users.
The first ones free!
Download a free trial version…
Have important Asian connections.
Have important Asian connections.
Strange jargon:
Stick
Rock
Wrap
E
Stash
Drive-by
Hit (LSD)
Source
The Pigs
Strange jargon:
SCSI
RTFM
Packet
C
Cache
CTRL ALT DEL
Hit (WWW)
Source-code
Microsoft
Realise that theres tons of cash in the 14- to 25-year-old market.
Realise that theres tons of cash in the 14- to 25-year-old market.
Clients really like your stuff when it works. When it doesnt work they
want to kill you.
Clients really like your stuff when it works. When it doesnt work they
want to kill you.
Job is assisted by the industrys producing newer, more potent product.
Job is assisted by the industrys producing newer, more potent product.
Often seen in the company of pimps, hustlers and low-lifes.
Often seen in the company of marketing people, venture capitalists and
fund managers.
When things go wrong, a fix is just a phone call away, but may be
expensive.
When things go wrong, a fix is just a phone call away, but may be
expensive.
A lot of people are getting rich while still teenagers.
A lot of people are getting rich while still teenagers.
Product causes unhealthy addictions.
DOOM, Quake, SimCity, Duke Nukem 3D…
Do your job well and you can sleep with sexy movie stars who depend on
you.
Damn! Damn!!!
Whats green and smells like pork?
How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to you!
Teacher: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
Suzie: Dont bite any!