The Sardarji Doctor to his patient: Its very important that you
take this medicine exactly 30 minutes before you feel the pain.
19
Oct
19
Oct
Yo mama so fat, the military could just drop -her- on Iraq and end the war.
19
Oct
Some great license plates seen over the years or heard about…
- IXLR8
On a nice looking Porsche
- LK 2 FK
Seen by myself – a blonde in a white Mercedes
- 3M TA3
A friend of a friend had this one made up. Write the plate number down and hold it up to a mirror. Im sure there are plenty you could get away with using this technique. This is great when the person in front of you looks in his/her mirror!
19
Oct
This guy goes to the pharmacist and says, Listen, these two girls are coming to my place for the weekend and they are hot, very hot. Would you have something to get me going all night. It is going to be hell of a party.
The pharmacist goes in the back room, comes back with an old dusty bottle and says, This stuff is very potent, you drink only one ounce of it and I guarantee that you will be doing the wild thing all night. Let me know about it.
The weekend goes by and on Monday morning, the pharmacist is going to work and at the door of the drug store, the same fellow is there waiting for him. The pharmacist says, What are you doing here so early? How was your weekend?
The guy replies, Quick open the store, I need Blue Ice (a pain muscle reliever).
The pharmacist, knowing what the guy had been doing all weekend, says, Are you crazy, you cant put that on your penis. The skin is way too sensitive.
The guy says, Its not for my penis, its for my arm.
Pharmacist says, What?? What happened?
Guy replies, Well. . . I drank the whole bottle of your potion.
Pharmacist says, And. . .
Guy replies, The girls never showed up!
19
Oct
The US government is throwing away millions of unused stamps with
pictures of favorite lawyers on them.
The people that use them don’t know which side to spit on!
19
Oct
A rabbi went to a hotel.It was the only hotel in the town, and they had only a room available,
but it was kept for a priest, since a week before.
Entering the hotel, the priest hears the rabbi
insisting for a room, approach him and politely
propose him to share the room.There were two beds,
so it was enough space for both.Finely, the rabbi
agrees and they slept in the same room that night.
In the morning the priest say to the rabbi:You
know,I had a very strange dream last night.I dreamed I was in the jewish heaven.It was
almost dark, the streets were dirty,the people
were very poor dressed and they ate some soup
every day, oh, my god,it was terrible!
The rabbi say:That is odd,because last
night I dreamed I was in the christian heaven.
It was wonderful, the sky was so blue, and the grass was green,the birds were singing happy songs,there were rivers of milkn honey,the trees
were full of tasty fruits, but it was ABSOLUTELY NOBODY IN THERE
19
Oct
Because sheep would be too obvious!
19
Oct
Q1: How can you tell if a blondes been using the computer?
A: Theres white-out on the screen.
Q2: How can you tell if another blondes been using the computer?
A: Theres writing on the white-out.
Q: How can you tell if a blonde writes mysteries?
A: She has a checkbook.
Q: How can you tell when a FAX had been sent to a blonde?
A: There is a stamp on it.
Q: How can you tell when a blonde is dating?
A: By the buckle print on her forehead.
Q: How can you tell who is a blondes boyfriend?
A: Hes the one with the belt buckle the matches the impression in her forehead!
Q: How can you tell which blonde is the waitress?
A: She is the one with the tampon behind her ear, wondering what she did with her pencil.
Q: What did the blonde customer say to the buxom waitress (reading her nametag) ?
A: Debbie…thats cute. What did you name the other one ?
Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been in your refrigerator?
A: By the lipstick on your cucumbers.
Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.
Q: What do a blonde and your computer have in common?
A: You dont know how much either of them mean to you until they go down on you.
Q: What did the blonde think of the new computer?
A: She didnt like it cos she couldnt get channel 9….
Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
A: (With a rocking of the head from side to side) I dunno!
Q: Why do all blondes all have a dimple on their chin and a flat forehead?
A: Finger on chin-I dont know. Hits forehead-Oh I get it!
Q: How do you kill a blonde?
A: Put spikes in their shoulder pads.
Q: How do blondes pierce their ears?
A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads.
Q: Why dont blondes make Jello?
A: They cant figure out how to get two cups of water into those little boxes.
Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar on the top of their head?
A: All you can eat, under a buck.
Q: Why dont blondes eat pickles?
A: Because they cant get their head in the jar.
Q: Why dont blondes eat bananas?
A: They cant find the zipper.
Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
A: Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces.
19
Oct
There was a teacher who was teaching young kids the different types of animals.
She showed them the picture of a giraffe, and asked them what it was. Nobody answered..so she gave them a clue, It has a long neck. One kid answered, Giraffe!
Pleased, the teacher showed a picture of a zebra.
Nobody answered it again, so she gave them a clue. This animal has stripes. Zebra! one kid answered.
So she put up another one, that of a deer.
The teacher could not think of a clue..but suddenly she came up with one!..she asked them what does your mother call your father?
Suddenly one child got up and answered HORNY BASTARD!
19
Oct
I see you bought a new car. Whats the make?
A Perndle.
Ive never heard of a Perndle before.
Me neither, but thats what it says, right over the steering wheel: P-R-N-D-L.