Mr. Baldwin, the biology teacher called on Mary, Can you tell me the part of the body that, under the right conditions, expands to six times its normal size, and state the conditions.
Mary gasped and said in a huff, Why, Mr. Baldwin! That is an inappropriate question and my parents are going to hear of it when I get home! She sat down, red-faced.
Susan, can you tell me the answer? asked Mr. Baldwin.
The pupil of the eye, under dark conditions, said Susan.
Correct. Now Mary, I have three things to say to you.
First, you have not studied your lesson.
Second, you have a dirty mind.
And third, boy are you going to be disappointed someday!
Posted in Gender humor |
Resulta que Chente se compró unas botas de charol y feliz corre a su casa para presumÃrselas a su esposa:
Vieja, ¿qué me notas?
Pues nada, cariño.
¿Cómo que nada? ¡MÃrame bien! ¿Qué me notas?
Pues yo te veo igual.
¡Me lleva! A ver, párate ahÃ.
Acto seguido, Chente se encuera todito y sólo se deja sus brillantes botas.
A ver, ahora sÅ ¿Qué me notas?
Estás encuerado.
¡Me lleva! A ver, te voy a dar una ayudadita. ¿Qué tengo abajo del ombligo?
Ay, pues tu pizarrÃn.
¿Y pa donde apunta?
Hacia abajo, querido.
¿Y qué hay abajo?
Pues tus botas.
¡Pues eso mero! ¡Vieja, me compré unas botas de charol para usarlas en España!
¡Ay, mejor te hubieras comprado un sombrero!
Posted in Chistes chistosos |
How many blonde jokes are there?
Just one.The others are true.
Posted in Blonde |
These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.
143. Drink a cup of coffee every morning. When you finish it, gnaw on the mug for about ten minutes. Then, look at your roommate, immediately put the mug away, and quickly leave the room.
Posted in School |
Why do white people go to black peoples yard sales?
To get their stuff back.
Posted in Ethnic |
Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS
Posted in One Liners |
Yo mama so fat she uses salad bowls for contact lenses.
Posted in Yo Mama |
When is a Gnome not a Gnome?
When hes got his head up a Fairys dress hes a Goblin!
Posted in General / Unsorted |
A plane full of retirees headed for Florida was gripped with fear when the pilot announced, Two of our engines are on fire; we are flying through a heavy fog, and it has eliminated virtually all our visibility.
The passengers were numb with fear, except for one… a semi-retired minister…Now, now, keep calm, folks he said. Lets all bow our heads and pray.
Immediately, the group bowed their heads to pray… except one fellow near the back.
Why arent you bowing your head to pray? the minister asked.
Well, I dont know how to pray, replied the passenger.
Well, just do something religious! piped up another well meaning passenger.
So the man got up and started down the aisle passing his hat.
Posted in Aviation |
This blond goes in to a salon to get her hair cut. Shes wearing a pair of headphones, and the stylist says that he cant cut her hair with the headphones on.
She replies No, you have to cut around the headphones, I cant take them off.
They argue about this for a few minutes, he finally agrees to cut her hair around the headphones, but he will have to charge her extra. She says, Thats ok, go ahead and cut it.
So he cuts her hair, and although it looks strange because of the headphones, shes happy with it. So a few weeks later she comes in again.
Again she wants her hair cut around the headphones. He says, No way, not
this time, this time Im taking the headphones off.
So he takes off the headphones and throws them on the floor. He starts cutting her hair, and a few minutes later, she falls out of the chair to the floor, dead.
He wonders what in the world is happening, so he picks up the headphones and puts them on.
He hears breathe in… breathe out… breathe in… breathe out…
Posted in General / Unsorted |