A North Carolina man, having bought several expensive cigars, insured them against… get this… fire.
After he had smoked them, he then decided that he had a claim against the insurance company and filed.
The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason that the man had consumed the cigar normally. The man sued.
The judge stated that since the company had insured the cigars against fire, they were obligated to pay.
After the man accepted payment for his claim, the company then had him arrested… for arson…
13
Apr
12
Apr
Mainframe – The part of the house that holds up the roof
12
Apr
Q: How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?
A: Three – one to change the light bulb and two to say Oh Wow!
12
Apr
This bloke wakes up one morning to find a gorilla in atree in his garden.He looks in the phone book for a gorilla removal service until he finds one.
Is it a boy gorilla or a girl gorilla? the service bloke asks.
Boy gorilla, replies the man.
Righto, says the service bloke. Ill be round in a jiffy. An hour later the service bloke shows up with a stick, a Pit Bull Terrier, a shotgun and a pair of handcuffs.
Right he says to the man. Im going to climb the tree and poke the gorilla with the stick until he falls.When he does, this highly trained Pit Bull will tear the gorillas balls off. When the gorilla crosses his hands over his crotch to protect himself, you slip the handcuffs on,
OK, says the man, but whats the shotgun for?
Im glad you asked that, says the service bloke. If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla does, then blow the dogs brains out
12
Apr
Knock Knock
Whos there?
Rona!
Rona who?
Rona the mill!
12
Apr
It is true that love is blind but marriage is definitely an eye-opener.
12
Apr
Whats the mexican word for Rodney King?
– Pinata
12
Apr
They say an elephant never forgets, but whats he got to remember?
12
Apr
Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer.
12
Apr
Walkin Round in Womens Underwear
(to be sung to Walkin in a Winter Wonderland)
Lacy things – the wife is missin,
Didnt ask – her permission,
Im wearin her clothes,
Her silk pantyhose,
Walkin round in womens underwear.
In the store – theres a teddy,
Little straps – like spaghetti,
It holds me so tight,
Like handcuffs at night,
Walkin round in womens underwear.
In the office theres a guy named Marvin,
He pretends that I am Murphy Brown.
Hell say, Are you ready? Ill say, Whoa, Man!
Lets wait until our wives are out of town!
Later on, if you wanna,
We can dress – like Madonna,
Put on some eyeshade,
And join the parade,
Walkin round in womens underwear!