Q : Whats the difference between Malaysia & the US?
A : USs got Bill Clinton, Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Stevie Wonder; Malaysias got Mahathir, no cash, no hope and bloody wonder!
09
Apr
09
Apr
Sell them to HP.
08
Apr
Q: How many Filipinoes does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: We dont know. The new bulb keeps getting shot at the airport.
08
Apr
Tres niños están discutiendo sobre quién de ellos tiene mejor memoria.
Dice el primero:
Yo recuerdo cuando dije la primera palabra.
Y yo recuerdo el dÃa en que empecé a caminar, afirma el segundo.
Y dice Pepito:
Todo eso no es nada. Yo recuerdo que un dÃa fui a una fiesta con mi papá y volvà con mi futura mamá.
08
Apr
Un dÃa pasa un carrazo de lujo en una gran avenida, con un chavo hijo de papi…
Tras él venÃa un autobús de pasajeros echando carreras… El hijo de papi abre la puerta de su carro para bajar y el autobús se lleva la puerta del carro…
El hijo de papi, enfurecido, le grita al chofer:
¡MIRA LO QUE HICISTE, BABOSITO, FREGASTE MI PUERTA! ¡IMBECIL!
Una persona cercana le dice:
Es usted muy materialista, reclama su puerta y no se da cuenta de que tambiÉn se ha llevado su brazo…
¡DEMONIOS, MI RELOJ DE DIAMANTES!
08
Apr
Knock Knock
Whos there?
Alice!
Alice who?
Im Alice chasing rainbows….!
08
Apr
What do you call a family of Mexicans standing in front of their house?
– A spicket fence.
08
Apr
The womans husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. And You know what? What dear? She gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth. Im beginning to think youre bad luck.
08
Apr
There was a newlywed that just got back from there honeymoon and they where all ways having sex and one night they where babysiting there friends baby and they did not want to say things like you want to have sex a round the baby so the girl said from here on we say did you leave the dryer door open that night the guy said did you leave the dryer door open and she said no… i closed it later the girl woke up and said no i think i left the dryer do open and the guy said no it was a small load and i did it by hand.
08
Apr
The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged they had covertly funded a project with the U.S. auto makers for the past five years, whereby the auto makers were installing black box voice recorders in pick-up trucks.
This was done in an effort to determine, when accidents occured, the circumstances in the last 15 seconds before the crash.
They were surprised to find in 49 of the 50 states the last words of drivers in 61.2 percent of crashes were, Oh, Crap!
Only the state of Alabama was different, where 89.3 percent of the final words were…
Hold my beer and watch this!