A mathematician, a physicist, and a statistician go out on a duck hunt. They have only one gun. The come across some geese and the mathematician quickly calculates the distance, the velocity, the angle, etc. and shoots.
Well, he misses by a foot to the LEFT!
They come across geese again, and this time the physicist takes the gun. After calculating all the angles, flight paths, velocities, etc. the physicist also takes into consideration the gravity, air frictions, and such things … and fires!
Well, s/he misses by a foot to the RIGHT!
The statistician jumps up and down, yelling, We gotem! We gotem!
Posted in General / Unsorted |
Llega un parroquiano y con mucha prisa, le dice al que atiende el bar:
¡Deme tres whiskeys bien rápido, pero bien rápido!
El barman se los empieza a servir, y le pregunta: ¿Cual es la prisa?
Si usted tuviera lo que yo tengo, también tendrÃa prisa por acabarse los tragos.
¿Y qué es lo que tiene usted?
¡Sólo tengo 50 centavos!
Posted in Chistes chistosos |
Llega un niño y se le queda viendo los senos a la madre y le pregunta:
Mami, ¿qué es eso?
¡Son dos flotadores!, responde sorprendida la madre.
Pocos dÃas después, el niño le comenta a la madre:
Mami, yo creo que la empleada va para la playa.
¿Por qué?
Porque ayer papi le estaba inflando los flotadores.
Posted in Chistes chistosos |
Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: You put her in a circular room and tell them to sit in the corner.
Posted in Blonde |
Knock Knock
Whos there?
Marmalade!
Marmalade who?
Marmalade me said the little chicken!
Posted in Knock-knock |
Why do we drive on the parkways, and park on the driveways?
Posted in One Liners |
A blonde was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet.
I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. He said. The next time I see you, youll have lost at least 5 pounds.
When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds.
Why, thats amazing! the doctor said, Did you follow my instructions?
The blonde nodded. Ill tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that 3rd day.
From hunger, you mean?
No, from skipping!
Posted in Blonde |
Three guys are riding horses.
1 Minnesota man, 1 Iowa man, and 1 Texas man.
Along the way the guy from texas takes out a bottle of wine, takes 1 sip throws it in the air, draws his pistol and shoots it.
The Iowa horseman asked, Whatchya doin that fer, thaz good stuff!?!
The Texan replies, Well we got plenty of that where I come from.
Later on the Iowa horseman takes out a bottle of whiskey, takes 1 sip, throws it in the air, draws his pistol and shoots it.
And the Minnesotan asked, Why the helld you do that?!?! Thats reeeeaaaalll good stuff!
And the Iowa guy replies, Oh we got plenty of that where I come from.
So the Minnesotan takes out a can of beer, slams it, shoots the guy from Iowa, and the Texan asked, Why in the name of the holy father did you do that!?!?!
The minnesotan replied, We got plenty of them where i come from!
(This wont be as funny if youre not from the great state of Minnesota.
Posted in Crazy |
Yo mama so old she sat behind Moses in the third grade.
Posted in Yo Mama |
Santa Singh : Look Banta, what type of glasses they have made. The top is closed. How can you fill lassi in it ?
Banta Singh : Yes, thats funny. And even if you make a hole at the top, how will the lassi stay in the glass when the bottom is open?
Posted in General / Unsorted |