Se encuentran dos clÃtoris:
Hola… ¿Cómo estás?
Yo, muy bien, pero… me han dicho que tú estás muy mal…
Ya,ya… los chismosos de siempre… ¿Qué te han dicho?
Bueno… que en los últimos tiempos estás muy débil, que estás flojo, que te faltan energÃas, que pareces un moco de pavo, que te falta la fogosidad y que ya no eres ardiente, etc, etc.
Uffff… chico… Las malas lenguas…
A man and a woman have just finished shagging when suddenly a bee flies in the bedroom window and zooms straight up the womans love tunnel.
Oh God! she screams. Help me! Theres a bee up my vagina and its buzzing around in there (albeit rather pleasurably)!
Lets go says her mate, Ill rush you straight to hospital!
On arrival at the emergency room the agitated couple are ushered into a curtained-off area by a male doctor.
What seems to be the problem? he asks.
Ive got a frigging bee up my vagina screams the woman. Get it out!
I see, says the doctor.Well, theres only one way to extract this bee. Im going to have to spread honey on my nob and entice it out.
The doctor gets out his old fella and dunks it in a jar of honey he just happens to have with him. He then mounts the woman and penetrates her with his sticky sweet love stick.
Just an inch or two should do it, he says.
After a few seconds he slides it in a bit further. After another few seconds he says Hmmm, it doesnt seem to be biting. Ill have to go deeper and slides it in all the way.
Suddenly he starts fondling her boobs with his hands, thrusting violently with his hips and moaning with what sounds like pleasure.
HOLD IT! says the boyfriend, What are you doing?
Change of plans!, shouts the doctor…
Ive decided to drown the little bastard!
Taoism: Shit happens.
Buddhism: If shit happens, its not really shit.
Islam: If shit happens, its the will of Allah
Protestantism: Shit happens because you dont work hard enough.
Judaism: Why does shit always happen to us?!
Hinduism: This shit happened before.
Catholicism: Shit happens because youre bad.
Har Krisna: Shit happens, Rama Rama!
T.V. Evangelism: Send more shit!!
Atheism: No shit.
Jehovahs Witness: Knock knock, shit happens.
Hedonism: Theres nothing like a good shit happenin.
Christian Science: Shit Happens in your mind.
Agnosticism: Maybe shit happens, maybe it doesnt.
Existentialism: What is shit anyway?
Stoicism: This shit doesnt bother me.
Rastafarianism: Lets smoke this shit!
Q: How is a woman like a condom?
A: Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it.
A guy was standing in the bus, when something knocks repeataidly on his shoulder. He turns around to find a strange shaped creature standing beside him.
The guy: Who are you, you scared me?
The creature: Dont be afraid, I am your friend Mac from mars and I am on a visit to your planet
The guy: Excuse me friend, but what are these four holes in your face?
The creature: They are my eyes.
The guy: And what are these eight buttons?
The creature: They are my ears.
The guy: But excuse me brother, how you are macking sex to each other?
The creature: By knocking on the shoulders of others!!!
a waitress askes a man and his friend what they want 1st man saysill have a bannana split .The second saysyour legs split please n ill give u whiped creame.
Stinko de Mayo
Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back?
A: A stick!
An extensive interview was being conducted on an old couple.
The questions got more and more personal until finally the interviewer asked the man and woman . . . . . DO YOU TWO HAVE MUTUAL ORGASAM?
The man and woman look at each other rather puzzled and they both replied: NO . . . . . STATE FARM.