A haryanavi peasant came to the office of The Hindustan Times to place an advertisement announcing his fathers death. The rate is Rs. 360 per single col. cm, the clerk told him. Main to lut jaoonga – I ll be ruined, exclaimed the haryanavi. My father was 182 cms tall.
28
Jun
27
Jun
Two lions were lying around in the jungle. One of them his licking his asshole.
The other lion asked him, Why are you licking your asshole?
The second lion replied, Aww, I just ate a lawyer and Im trying to get the taste out of my mouth.
27
Jun
Esto es lo que dicen algunas mujeres de diferentes nacionalidades después de hacer el amor:
La española: Nos vemos otra vez mañana, Periquillo, pero más tarde porque primero debo ir a confesarme.
La alemana: ¡Tres minutos, Hans! ¿Crees que tengo todo el tiempo del mundo?
La mexicana: Entonces, ¿cuándo nos vamos a casar?
La francesa: ¿Les gustó?
Y finalmente…
La estadounidense: Whats your name?
27
Jun
There were three female explorers who decided that they would go explore the African jungle together. One blonde, one brunnette and one redhead.
They were near the middle of the jungle when a rare african tribe surrounded them. The tribe said that the gods have sent them evil things and the explorers shall be poo head destroyed. The tribe was going to shoot them with a bow and arrow in the not head one at a time.
First they were going to shoot at the brunnette. She stepped up and they called 1-2-3 but before they could shoot she yelled TORNADO and everyone ducked and lay down on the ground and the brunnette ran way while they ducked. The tribe got mad and swore but did not go after her.
Then the redneck stepped up and they aimed and yelled 1-2-3.. but before they could shoot she screeched FLOOD and everyone jumped and climbed up the nearest tree. The redhead took advantage and ran away. They got really mad and swore but did not go after her.
They didnt like people yelling fake incidents. Then the blonde stepped up and she thought that yelling a mother nature disaster was a good idea. They yelled 1-2-3 and the blonde yelled FIRE!
27
Jun
Knock Knock
Whos there?
Isabelle!
Isabelle who?
Isabelle necessary on a bicycle?
27
Jun
A New York man was forced to take a day off from work to appear for a minor traffic summons. He grew increasingly restless as he waited hour after endless hour for his case to be heard.
When his name was called late in the afternoon, he stood before the judge, only to hear that court would be adjourned for the next day and he would have to return the next day.
What for? he snapped at the judge.
His honor, equally irked by a tedious day and sharp query roared, Twenty dollars contempt of court. Thats why!
Then, noticing the man checking his wallet, the judge relented. Thats all right. You dont have to pay now.
The young man replied, Im just seeing if I have enough for two more words.
27
Jun
[heard on a local radio station today]
I recently read in one of the tabloids at the supermarket today…
WOMAN GETS PREGNANT WHILE DOING LAMBADA
I guess that goes to show that the rhythm method just doesnt work!!
27
Jun
On Christmas morning, a cop on horseback was sitting at a traffic light. Next to him was a kid on his shiny new bike. The cop said to the kid, Nice bike youve got there. Did Santa bring that to you?
The kid said, Yeah.
The cop said, Well, next year tell Santa to put a taillight on that bike.
The cop then proceeded to issue the kid a $20 bicycle safety violation ticket. The kid took the ticket, but before he rode off he said, By the way, thats a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?
Humouring the kid, the cop said, Yeah, he sure did.
The kid said, Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top.
27
Jun
Whats the difference between a white owl and a black owl?
A white owl goes WHO WHO WHO A black owl goes WHODAT WHODAT WHODAT
26
Jun
Yo mama so dark she spits chocolate milk!