Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.
The brunette balances their checkbook, then decides to take their last 600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale. Upon leaving, she tells her sister, If I decide to buy the bull, Ill contact you to drive out after me and haul it home. The brunette arrives at the mans ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to sends her sister a telegram. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that Ive bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pick-up truck and drive out here so we can haul it home. The telegraph operator explains that hell be glad to help her, then adds, Its just 99 cents a word.
Interesting Appearance. Not Normal
I have a green nose, three red mouths, and four purple ears. What am I?
Ugly!
Just read in this mornings UPI newswires (Aug 18 1993) that Judge Walter Colbath has ordered Jerry Ericksonto quit eating poppyseed bagels or hell go to prison!
It seems Jerry is on probation for kidnapping and robbery, and one day he showed up for his probation meeting and tested positive for morphine … even though he swore he never touched the stuff! His doctor concluded the drug test may have picked up small traces of morphine from his breakfast that day – a poppyseed bagel!
So Palm Beach County Circuit Judge Walter Colbath on Tuesday allowed Jerry to remain on probation rather than to return to prison because the correction officials could not prove that hed used illegal drugs, but he ofered him to stop eating poppyseed bagels as a condition of parole.
Said Jerrys attorney, Dean Wilbur, regarding his job as a criminal defense lawyer, It continues to get weirder and weirder, the longer I do this!
So, just remember to say NO to bagels!
This Kentucky horse breeder had a filly that won every race in which she was entered. But as she got older she became very temperamental. He soon found that when he raced her in the evening, she would win handily, but when she raced during the day she would come in dead last. He consulted the top veterinarians and horse psychologists to no avail. He finally had to give up because it had become a real night mare.
Joke found on http://www.ahajokes.com
Statisticians must stay away from childrens toys because they regress so easily.
Zen Masters dont need to screw in light bulbs because they
carry their own light with them.
German scientists dug 50 meters underground and discovered small pieces of copper. After studying these pieces for a long time, Germany announced that the ancient Germans 25,000 years ago had a nationwide telephone network.
Naturally, the British government was not that easily impressed. They ordered their own scientists to dig even deeper. 100 meters down, they found small pieces of glass, and they soon announced that the ancient Brits 35,000 years ago already had a nationwide fibre net.
Israeli scientists were outraged. They dug 50, 100 and 200 meters underground, but found absolutely nothing…
They concluded that the ancient Hebrews 55,000 years ago had cellular telephones.
A flat-chested young lady goes to Dr. Smith for advice about enlarging her breasts. He tells her, Every day when you get out of the shower, rub the tip of your breasts and say, Scooby dooby doobies. I want bigger boobies.
She did this every day faithfully and after several months, it worked! She grew great boobs!
One morning she was running late and she was on the bus when she realized she had forgotten her morning ritual. At this point she loved her new boobs and didnt want to lose them, so right in the middle of the bus – Scooby dooby doobies. I want bigger boobies.
A guy sitting nearby asked her, Do you go to Dr. Smith by any chance?
Why, yes, I do. How did you know?
Hickory dickory dock.
A man joins the crew of a ship. After a few days he gets restless and asks What does one do about sex around here?
The others direct him to a large gun barrel with a hole in it. At first he does not like the idea much but, when he tries it, he finds it surprisingly enjoyable. He has another go the next day, and again the day after.
Then he asks, Can I do this every day?.
Yes, every day, except Wednesdays.
Why not on Wednesdays?
Wednesdays is YOUR turn inside the barrel!
A woman went into a pet shop and said to the man, I want a parrot
but sell me one that definitely talks.
The man sold her a parrot, saying, This one definitely talks.
The woman took him home, set his cage up on a table and said to
the parrot, Ok, talk.
The parrot said, Show me your tits. The woman was outraged. So
she put him in the refrigerator. After a while, she took him out
and said, So talk.
Again, the parrot said, Show me your tits. The woman, to show
the parrot his place, put him in the fridge for a longer time and
the same thing happened. She was quite annoyed. This time she
put him in the freezer.
There was a turkey in the freezer. The parrot said to the turkey,
How did you get here? Did you ask for a blowjob?