Old and New Jokes

These are actual student evaulation comments taken from an MIT course evaluation guide in the fall semester of 1991.

This class was a religious experience for me… I had to take it all on faith.

Text makes a satisfying thud when dropped on the floor.

The class is worthwhile because I need it for the degree.

His blackboard technique puts Rembrandt to shame.

Textbook is confusing… Someone with a knowledge of English should proofread it.

Have you ever fell asleep in class and awoke in another? Thats the way I felt all term.

In class I learn I can fudge answers and get away with it.

Keep lecturer or tenure board will be shot.

The recitation instructor would make a good parking lot attendant. Tries to tell you where to go, but you can never understand him.

Text is useless. I use it to kill roaches in my room.

In class the syllabus is more important than you are.

I am convinced that you can learn by osmosis by just sitting in his class.

Help! Ive fallen asleep and I cant wake up!

Problem sets are a decoy to lure you away from potential exam material.

Recitation was great. It was so confusing that I forgot who I was, where I was, and what I was doing — its a great stress reliever.

He is one of the best teachers I have had… He is well-organized, presents good lectures, and creates interest in the subject. I hope my comments dont hurt his chances of getting tenure.

I would sit in class and stare out the window at the squirrels. Theyve got a cool nest in the tree.

He teaches like Speedy Gonzalez on a caffeine high.

This course kept me out of trouble from 2-4:30 on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Most of us spent the 1st 3 weeks terrified of the class. Then solidarity kicked in.

Bogus number crunching. My HP is exhausted.

The absolute value of the TA was less than epsilon.

TA steadily improved throughout the course… I think he started drinking and it really loosened him up.

Information was presented like a ruptured fire hose — spraying in all directions — no way to stop it.

I never bought the text. My $60 was better spent on the Led Zeppelin tapes that I used more while doing the problem sets that I would have used the text.

Whats the quality of the text? Text is printed on high quality paper.

Whats the difference between a circumcision and a crucifixion?

In a crucifixion they throw out the whole Jew.

Whats the only animal that has to be oiled? A mouse. Why? Cause it squeaks!

Woman …

Shes an angel in truth, a demon in fiction.

A womans the greatest of all contradiction.

Shell scream at a cockroach and faint at a mouse,

then tackle a husband as big as a house.

Shell take him for better, shell take him for worse.

Shell split his head open, and then be his nurse.

And when he is well and can get out of bed,

shell pick up a teapot to throw at his head.

You fancy shes this, but you find that shes that;

for she plays like a kitten and fights like a cat.

In the evenings she will, in the mornings she wont

and youre always expecting that she does when she dont.

— author unknown

Your cousin Jimmy is so stupid, he stole some free samples!

A family was having some people to dinner. At the table, the mother turned to her six-year-old daughter and said, "Dear, would you like to say the blessing?"

"I wouldnt know what to say," replied the little girl, shyly.

"Just say what you hear Mommy say, sweetie," the woman said.

Her daughter took a deep breath, bowed her head, and solemnly said, "Dear Lord, why the hell did I invite all these people to dinner!?!"

Ask your buddy this, Do you know what guys with big dicks eat for breakfast?

When he says, No, say to him, I didnt think you did.

Everyone was laughing uproariously at the jokes the boss was telling with obvious enjoyment. One girl, however, sat in the corner not amused.

Whats the matter? grumbled the boss. Havent you got a sense of humor?

Oh, I dont have to laugh, she said, Im leaving Friday anyway.

Q: Where do polar bears vote?
A: The North Poll.

Ben Dover



And



C. Howlett Fields



Attorneys At Law