Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked Adam, What is wrong with you?
Adam said he didnt have anyone to talk to. God said, I was going to give you a companion and it would be a woman.
God continues:
This person will cook for you and wash your clothes. She will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when youve had a disagreement. She will never have a headache, and will freely give you love and compassion whenever needed.
Adam asked God, What would a woman like this cost me??
God said, An arm and a leg.
Adam asked, What can I get for just a rib???
And now you know…the rest of the story. 🙂
Knock knock
whos there
boo
boo who?
dont cry, its just a joke.
This sentence no verb.
A doctor examined a woman and took her husband aside. I dont want to alarm you, he said, but I dont like the way your wife looks at all.
Me neither, Doc. said the husband. But shes a great cook and real good with the kids.
Q: Why wasnt the Virgin Mary a blonde?
A: She wouldnt have been old enough to bear children!
A button for a coat of paint.
Sheets for an oyster bed.
False teeth for a rivers mouth.
Music for a rubber band.
Shoes for a walking stick.
A saddle for a clothes horse!
What is the toughest animal in the world? The sheep that steel wool comes from…
Did you hear about the new mens magazine that caters exclusively to married men?
Its like Playboy or Penthouse magazine, except the centerfold is the same month after month after month…
The Capitalism, the Socialism, and the Communism meet one day and decide to have a small party among themselves.
Since they had nothing to drink and eat, the Socialism said he was going out to buy something. So he leaves.
An hour passes, then two hours, three, its getting very late, and the two friends are about to go home, but then the Socialism finally returns.
He makes his excuses and says he bought vodka but then he had to wait in a huge line for sausage.
Not quite believing, the Capitalism wonders: Whats the line?
And whats the sausage? asks the Communism.
In Japan, they have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages with their own Japanese Haiku poetry, each only 17 syllables, five syllables in the first line, seven in the second, five in the third …
A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
The Web site you seek
Can not be located but
Countless more exist.
Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
Aborted effort:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much.
Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.
Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.
First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
So beautifully.
With searching comes loss
And the presence of absence:
My Novel not found.
The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao until
You bring fresh toner.
Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.
A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.
Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.
You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.
Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.
Having been erased,
The document youre seeking
Must now be retyped.
Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.