16
Jul

The Tator Family

I found these humurous and easily clasify people.

Agi Tator: Whenever things get dull, Agi is always there to stir things up. She is often a nuisance, but many times keeps everyone on their toes by disturbing the comfortable status quo.

Cogi Tator: Cogi is a thinker. She is different from her brother Medi because Cogi thinks deeply about matters that will affect the way she acts. She weighs everything carefully before acting and attempts to make sure she has considered all the alternatives.

Common Tator: Common always has advice or criticism on any subject. Always talking and always very authoritative sounding, he often sounds like he knows what he is talking out, but usually doesnt.

Devis Tator: Devis is a revolutionary. He believes in confrontation, radical changes. It is his philosophy that the only way to change something is to destroy it and start all over. Devis is weak on alternatives or ideas for rebuilding and considers that someone elses job.

Dick Tator: Dick doesnt consult anyone. He makes all his decisions by himself and sees others only as a means to accomplish hiswill. Dick will usually gets high marks for getting things done, but low marks for working with others.

Emmy Tator: Emmy is a follower and can easily become a hero worshiper. Heavily influenced by those around her, Emmys future is determined by the kinds of people she patterns her life after.

Facili Tator: Facili is warm and personable. She is almost selfless. She works hard at enabling others to become better. She is a good listener and asks the kinds of questions that allow people to speak about things that matter to them. But Facili can sometimes be a nuisance because she sees every gathering as an opportunity to use her gifts and sometimes she just needs to let her abilities remain dormant.

Hesi Tator: It is very difficult for Hesi to make decisions. She always needs just a little bit more information before making a decision. If and when Hesi does make a decision, however, it has usually been thought through carefully.

Irri Tator: Irri is a twin of Agi with a mean streak in her. She likes to stir things up just for the sake of causing confusion and disarray. She is abrasive and even when she takes the correct position on a subject, still winds up alienating those around her.

Medi Tator: Medi thinks deeply and finds satisfaction in the act itself. His thinking never really leads to any constructive action, however. It is the act of pondering that matters to Medi and not the content.

Roe Tator: Roe is a systems man. He believes that everyone should have their turn regardless of qualification. He is task oriented and is only involved as long as the task is his responsibility. He believes in changes for changes sake and doesnt like to remain in one spot too long.

Speck Tator: He likes to watch everyone else rather than get involved in anything personally. He is always on the outside looking in. He is usually an expert at evaluating and helps those who are not participating by cheering them on. But because Speck has the advantage of watching from the stands, he can also make unrealistic assessments from a distance and be quite fickle with his support.

Vegi Tator: Some call Vegi lazy because she sits around doing nothing. She doesnt take any risks and tends to take whats given without giving anything in return. But at least Vegi is predictable and somewhat stable.

16
Jul

Genie

15
Jul

Nuns Confessional

Four nuns are standing in line for confession. The first nun goes into the confessional and says bless me father for I have sinned I touched a man’s private parts.

The priest asks, What part of your body did you use?

The nun replies, My right hand.

The priest tells her to dip her right hand in holy water say 10 hail Mary’s and all will be forgiven.

The second nun goes into the confessional and says, Bless me father for I have sinned I touched a mans private parts.

The priest asks, What part of your body did you use?

The nun replies, My left hand. The priest tells her to dip her left hand in the holy water say 10 hail Mary’s and all will be forgiven.

Well, this leaves the third and fourth nun standing in line. The fourth nun taps the third nun on the shoulder and asks, Would you mind if I went first?

The third nun says, Sure I dont care, but would mind telling me why?

The fourth nun replies, Well, I would like to drink the water before you have to sit in it!

15
Jul

Qu dicen las mujeres, segn

¿Qué dicen las mujeres, según su nacionalidad, después de hacer el amor?

La Argentina: ¡Che! Eres un Dios.

La Cubana: Cosa más grande, caballero.

La Gringa: MMmmmmm… Sorry… ¿What´s your name?

La Italiana: ¡¡Ma´ que cosa!!

La Mexicana: ¡Te juro que es la primera vez, no vayas a creer que soy así!

15
Jul

Dos tipos adictos al cigarrillo

Dos tipos adictos al cigarrillo deciden caminar hasta la cima de una montaña, cada cual con sus cigarros aparte. Sin embargo, uno de ellos se acabó más de la mitad de sus tabacos de subida; de regreso, al no quedarle ninguno, decide pedirle a su compañero, pero aquel se niega argumentando que le quedaban pocos. Tanto insiste, que el otro accede a darle un cigarro con una condición: que se baje los pantalones y se deje follar.

¡Qué pasó, compadre, no que nosotros muy hombres!

Tanta era la necesidad de nicotina, que después de un rato acepta. Tiempo después pide otro tabaco aceptando el trato. Ya casi para llegar, nuevamente pide otro cigarrillo.

Lo siento, ya no traigo.

Bajándose los pantalones, el más vicioso le contesta:

No importa, me lo das en el pueblo.

15
Jul

Raking Leaves

Q: How did the blonde break her arm raking leaves?



A: She fell out of the tree.

15
Jul

Do it yourself dentistry

About this time last year, I was sitting in my dentists office waiting to have a root canal done, when I noticed a flyer (advertisement) for a personal dental drill. After some interesting images went through my head, I asked the receptionist if they really sold these things and she said yes.

Well, it was three days before Christmas and I hadnt gotten the secretary in the office (Vivian) a present yet, so I bought one.

When I got home, I realized that there was no literature in the little package – no warranty card, no instruction, no nothing – so I wrote some. Below is the promotional flyer that came with Vivians.

Thank you for purchasing the digger personal dental drill from ACME Corp., makers of do it yourself dental devices since 1939.

We hope you will get years of satisfaction from your new drill. The enclosed instruction manual provides step by step instructions for performing a variety of dental procedures from simple cavaties to root canals and interrogations in the privacy and tranquility of your own home.

All procedures can be performed using materials readily available from your favorite hardware store and a little fortitude (purchased at your favorite liquer store). Save money, entertain the kids – but most of all enjoy the satisfaction of doing it yourself.

Your new drill should provide you with many years of trouble free service.

However, if you experience any problems, please call our customer service number at 1-800-323-PAIN.

Again, thank you for your purchase.

15
Jul

Less is more

A women needs money which her husband refuses to give her. So
she decides to go out and earn it on her own.

She comes home with fifty dollars and twenty-five cents.

Whos the cheapo who only gave you a quarter? her husband asks.

They all did.

Note: For all those who are offended by any inherent sexism in this joke, swap husband/wife.

15
Jul

The letter

A Rabbi was opening his mail one morning.



Taking a single sheet of paper from an envelope he found written on it only one word: shmuck



At the next Friday night service, the Rabbi announced: I have known many people who have written letters and forgot to sign their names, but this week I received a letter from someone who signed his name and forgot to write a letter.

15
Jul

Sound Dirty In Law But Arent:

Things That Sound Dirty In Law But Arent…

Have you looked through her briefs?

He is one hard judge!

Counselor, lets do it in chambers.

His attorney withdrew at the last minute.

Is it a penal offense?

Better leave the handcuffs on.

For $200 an hour, she better be good!

Can you get him to drop his suit?

The judge gave her the stiffest one he could.

Think you can get me off?