Q: How many deconstructionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: It doesnt matter. Even if the bulb is screwed in, it will always be flickering, however faintly, so it really hasnt worked. It is incapable of delivering uninterrupted light.
09
May
09
May
Manolo llega siempre al restaurante y, dándoselas de muy fino, trata de pinchar una aceituna con un palillo, pero siempre se le escapa en el último momento.
Un dÃa el camarero que lo atiende, cansado de ver como fracasan sus intentos, toma el palillo y pincha la aceituna. Manolo protesta: ¡Claro! ¡Ahora que ya la tenÃa cansada!
09
May
Knock Knock
Whos there?
Utah!
Utah who?
Utah told me to knock!
09
May
37. If you get more e-mail than mail.
09
May
A: Two: one to stand in the bathtub, and another to pass her the blow dryer!
09
May
The contemplative routine of the convent was being disrupted by the presence of workmen converting the electrical service from overhead lines to buried cable. Mother Superior called the electric companys complaint department to ask for help.
The profanity these men use constantly is unsuitable for our community. You must make them stop cursing so much., said the nun.
Very well, sister. But you must make allowances for their habits. Even when they are trying to be tactful, they will still tend to call a spade a spade., said the company spokeswoman.
Mother superior then observed, I think the term they actually use is fucking shovel!.
09
May
A blonde wanting to earn some money decided to hire herself out as a handyman- type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. Well, you can paint my porch, how much will you charge? he replied. The blonde said How about $50.00 ? The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladder were in the garage. The mans wife inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house? The man replied, She should, she was standing on the porch. A short time later, the blond came to the door to collect her money. Youre finished already? he asked. Yes, the blond answered and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.00 and by the way the blond added, thats not a Porch, its a Ferrari.
09
May
A man gets a telephone call from a doctor. The doctor says:
About this medical test I did on you, I have some good news
and some bad news.
The man asks for the good news first:
The good news is that you have 24 hours to live, says the doctor.
The man, incredulously: If that is the good news, then what is the bad news??
I couldnt reach you on the phone yesterday.
08
May
Knock Knock
Whos there?
Forbes!
Forbes who?
Forbes of Evil!
08
May
A golfer, playing a round by himself, is about to tee off, and a greasy little salesman runs up to him, and yells, Wait! Before you tee off, I have something really amazing to show you!
The golfer, annoyed, says, What is it?
Its a special golf ball, says the salesman. You can never lose it!
Whattaya mean, scoffs the golfer, you can never lose it? What if you hit it into the water?
No problem, says the salesman. It floats, and it detects where the shore is, and spins towards it.
Well, what if you hit it into the woods?
Easy, says the salesman. It emits a beeping sound, and you can find it with your eyes closed.
Okay, says the golfer, impressed. But what if your round goes late and it gets dark?
No problem, sir, this golf ball glows in the dark! Im telling you, you can never lose this golf ball!
The golfer buys it at once. Just one question, he says to the salesman. Where did you get it?
I found it.