Q: Whats the difference between a penis and a paycheck?
A: You dont have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!
22
Dec
21
Dec
Ted and his wife where waiting at the bus stop with Harry, his spouse and Harrys nine children.
At last the bus drew up, packed with poeple.
The two women, and the nine children managed to get on. but the men where left behind and had to walk.
After trotting along the road for an hour, Teds walking stick got on Harrys nerves with its continual tapping.
Why dont you put a rubber on that stick! Harry complained.
Ted snapped back If youd put a rubber on your stick, wed have got on that blasted bus.
21
Dec
Llega un borrachito a su casa, golpea la puerta y le grita a su mujer, ¡Mi Amor! ¡Prepárate para tres polvos!
La esposa sale por la ventana y le responde:
Mi vida, veo que vienes caliente.
Y el borrachito le responde:
¡No, es que vengo con dos amigos!
21
Dec
Youve ever said, I cant wait to get into business school.
21
Dec
HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN Compliment her, respect her, honor her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, tease her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, hold her, spend money on her, wine and dine her, buy things for her, listen to her, care for her, stand by her, support her, hold her, go to the ends of the Earth for her. HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN Show up naked. Bring food/beer.
21
Dec
A funny joke appeared on YT.
21
Dec
A guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?
She yells, No, I wont sleep with you tonight!
Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table.
After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, Im sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, Im a graduate student in psychology and Im studying how people respond to embarrassing situations.
To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, What do you mean $200!?!
20
Dec
Yo mama so fat she looks like shes smuggling a Volkswagon!
20
Dec
The dying man gasped pitifully. Give me one last request, Lisa,he said. Of course, Richard, she said softly. Six months after I die, he said, I want you to marry Big Pete. But I thought you hated Big Pete, she said. With his last breath, Richard said, I do!
20
Dec
An old woman walks into a gun shop and says to the owner,
I need a big gun to shoot cans. The owner replies,
How about this small rifle? She says,No these are really big cans.
Well how about this medium sized rifle? She says,
No this are really big cans. Finally, frustrated, the owner says,
What type of cans are you going to shoot?
She replies, Oh, you know, Mexi-cans, Afri-cans, Peurto Ri-cans!