Old and New Jokes

Why did the woman cross the road? Never mind that, whats she doing out of the kitchen.

I am reminded of a real life incident of about 10 years ago.

I was working in a Wall Street investment bank when someone from the
information technology group came by our office asking us to enter our
passwords in the new software system.

My colleague Barry, with his usual rebellious attitude, entered the
password Penis.

We all fell on the floor with laugher when the computer replied:
Password rejected. Too short.

Why do they name cyclones after women?

Because they start off as little blow jobs and end up taking the whole house!

The snakes; they are adders.

Q: What did Boris Yelstin say when asked if meeting Clinton made want to convert Russia to the type of government they have in America?
A: Never! Im not going to let my wife run the country!!

A man complaining to a friend: I had it all – money, a beautiful house,a big car, the love of a beautiful woman … then … pow! … it was all gone!

What happened? asked the friend.

Ahhhh … my wife found out …

Un viajero está en el mostrador de una aerolínea documentando su equipaje:

“Quiero que la valija grande la envíen a Londres. La pequeña a Miami. Los dos bolsos envíelos a Río de Janeiro y el baúl a Beirut”.

“Discúlpeme, pero eso no es posible, señor”.

“¿Cómo que no? ¡Sí ya lo hicieron la última vez que viaje y sin mi permiso, infeliz!”

A blonde walks into a pharmacy before having sex.

She says to the guy behind the counter, Id like to buy a condom, please.



He says, Hey, watch your mouth!



She says, Youre right. better make that 2.

The tasks and chores that get rewarded, get done first.

Is there a mirror in your pocket? Because I can definitely see myself in your pants tonight.