Old and New Jokes

10. Lower auto insurance premiums.

9. Easier to get job because of hiring quotas.

8. Cleaner restrooms.

7. Tired of boring mens fashions and wants something new and exciting.

6. Women live longer.

5. Can get easily picked up in bars.

4. Really likes the guy next door but knows that he is not gay.

3. Failed to make the MENS U.S. Olympic Ski Team.

2. Wants to be an assistant to Clarence Thomas to find out if its really true.

And the number 1 reason why John is officially becoming a woman:

1. PMS – An Incredible Sensory Experience!!!

Q. How did they advertise surplus W. W. II Italian rifles for sale?

A. Never fired, and only dropped once.

Q. Why does the new Italian Navy use glass bottomed boats?

A. So they can steer clear of the old Italian Navy.

Q. Why is Italian bread so long?

A. So they can dip it into the sewer.

Q. How is the Italian version of Christmas different?

A. One Mary, one Jesus, and 32 Wise guys.

Q. Who really killed John F. Kennedy?

A. Two hundred Italian sharpshooters.

Q. How does an Italian get into an honest business?

A. Usually through the skylight…

RAINY web

There are two pieces of tarmac sitting by the side of the bar, and they are having a drinking contest, to see which one is the hardest.

After 12 shots of vodka, both pieces of tarmac are still unfazed, when suddenly the door opens and a red piece of tarmac walks in.

Upon which seeing the red piece of tarmac, one piece of tarmac runs into the john.

An hour later, he ventures out and discovers that the red piece of tarmac has left, so he ventures out and upon seeing the other piece of tarmac, he is asked why he ran off.

To this he replies Havent you heard about him?, Hes a CYCLE-PATH !!!!!!

Something you cannot use, at a price you cannot resist.

Two Irishmen met in a pub and discussed the illness of a third.

Poor Micheal Hogan! Faith, Im afraid hes goin to die.

Shure, an why would he be dyin? asked the other.

Ah, hes gotten so thin. Youre thin enough, and Im thin — but by my
soul, Micheal Hogan is thinner than both of us put together.

A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, Hey, we have a drink named after you! The grasshopper looks surprised and says, You have a drink named Steve?

Those who make things happen.
Those who watch things happen.
Those who wonder what happened.

Too many of us are spending money we havent earned to buy things we dont need to impress people we dont like.

One fine day in the middle of class at school, a girl raised her asking to be excused: “Teacher, can I answer the call of nature?” Knowing what the kid wanted, the teacher said okay. Immediately, the girl ran to the toilet. But, within a minute, she was back. Another girl was shocked by how she could actually take care of business so quickly, and asked how she managed to do it so fact.The girl responded, “It was a prank call.”

Q: How many sorority sisters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five. One to change the bulb, and four to make T-shirts. And optionally, we may add one fraternity to start the wet T-shirt contest!

A pair of congressmen met for lunch to hash out their political differences. Ten minutes into the meal, one angrily pounded the table. Youre lying! he shouted.

Of course Im lying, the other said, but hear me out.