Knock Knock
Whos there?
Walt!
Walt who?
Walt till your father gets home!
12
Sep
12
Sep
Knock Knock
Whos there?
Weevil!
Weevil who?
Weevil work it out!
12
Sep
Están un cirujano, un ingeniero y una informática discutiendo acerca de cuál es la profesión más antigua del mundo:
El médico dice: Pues está claro: Dios creó a la mujer con una costilla del hombre, una operación quirúrgica exquisita, entonces los cirujanos somos los primeros.
El ingeniero: Qué va,qué va, antes del hombre existÃa el caos, pura desorganización y va Dios y con una maestrÃa extraordinaria hace un proyecto de ingenierÃa asombroso y crea el universo, por tanto la IngenierÃa es la profesión más antigua.
La informática: ¿Y quién creen ustedes que creó el Caos?
12
Sep
Están dos madres y una le dice a la otra:
Oye, dile a tu hija que me deje de estar imitando.
¡Niña! ¡Deja de hacerte la idiota!
12
Sep
Two lawyers were walking along negotiating a case.
Look, said one, lets be honest with each other.
Okay, you first, replied the other.
That was the end of the discussion.
12
Sep
At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. Isnt it true, he bellowed, that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?
The witness stared out the window, as though he hadnt heard the question.
Isnt it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case? the lawyer repeated.
The witness still did not respond.
Finally, the judge leaned over and said, Sir, please answer the question.
Oh, the startled witness said, I thought he was talking to you.
12
Sep
A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to the gynecologist. The doctor takes one look at the woman and all of his professionalism goes out the window. He immediately asks her to undress. After she has disrobed, the doctor begins stroking her thigh.
Do you know what I?m doing? he asks.
Yes, she replies. You?re checking for any abrasions or abnormalities.
That?s right, says the doctor. Emboldened, he then begins to fondle her breasts. Do you know what I?m doing now?
You?re checking for any lumps or breast cancer, she replies.
Correct, says the doctor. Deciding to go for broke, he mounts her and begins having sex with her. Do you know what I?m doing now?
Yes, she says. You?re getting herpes?which is why I came here in the first place.
12
Sep
Whats the smartest thing thats ever came from a females mouth? einstiens cock.
12
Sep
An <ethnic> couple decided to stay at a very exclusive, WASP only
hotel for a night. The manager immediately recognized them for
what they are but could not throw them out, instead he decided
to be clever. In the morning the couple came to settle the bill
and were surprised to find they owe $3000.
Hows this? Weve only been here one night! the man was annoyed.
So? said the manager, This is a very expensive hotel. We have
golf courts, tennis courts, swimming pools, exercise rooms, bars
and restaurants, all this is very expensive to keep up.
But we didnt use any of these! explained the couple.
If you didnt use–thats your problem, came the reply.
In that case, you owe me $2000. You see, my wife is a call girl
who charges $5000 a night, so please settle your bill, said the
man.
What do you mean? the manager was taken off guard, I didnt
sleep with your wife!
If you didnt use–thats your problem!
Alexander Pruss, at one of: Department of Applied Mathematics,
Astronomy, Mathematics, or Physics / University of Western Ontario
12
Sep
A guy has been suffering from severe headaches for years with no relief. After trying all the usual cures hes referred to a headache specialist by his family doctor. The doctor asks him what his symptoms are and he replies.
I get these blinding headaches; kind of like a knife across my scalp and….
He is interrupted by the doctor, And a heavy throbbing right behind the left ear.
Yes! Exactly! How did you know?
Well I am the worlds greatest headache specialist, you know. But I myself suffered from that same type of headache for many years. It is caused by a tension in the scalp muscles. This is how I cured it: Every day I would give my wife oral sex. When she came she would squeeze her legs together with all her strength and the pressure would relieve the tension in my head. Try that every day for two weeks and come back and let me know how it goes.
Two weeks go by and the man is back, Well, how do you feel?
Doc, Im a new man! I feel great! I havent had a headache since I started this treatment! I cant thank you enough. And, by the way you have a lovely home.