Q: What is Clintons favorite war song?
A: Over Here
22
Dec
22
Dec
Q: Whats a good holiday tip?
A: Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
22
Dec
En el zoo de Bilbao, un chico se cae al foso de los leones y cuando estaban a punto de comérselo, salta un joven y rescata al menor.
Los viandantes le felicitan, y aparece un equipo de audaces reporteros del EGIN para hacerle una entrevista:
EGIN: Hola, buenas, ¿qué ha ocurrido?
Pues que he visto que el chico ha caÃdo al foso, y cuando he visto que no podÃa salir, me he lanzado a salvarlo.
EGIN: Vaya, desde luego eres todo un héroe, tú eres de Bilbao ¿no?
Pues no, yo soy de Badajoz, y estoy aquà porque me han trasladado de funcionario.
EGIN: Pero tu familia es de aquà ¿no?
Pues no, todos están en Extremadura.
EGIN: Bueno, a pesar de eso estás a favor de la Patria Vasca y de la independencia de Euskadi ¿no?
¡No, no!, yo estoy a favor de una España… una grande y libre.
EGIN: Hummm… bien… vale… adiós.
Al dÃa siguiente aparece en la portada del EGIN:
ESCÃNDALO: NUEVA AGRESIÓN IMPERIALISTA
JOVEN NEONAZI QUITA LA COMIDA DE LA BOCA AL LEÓN DEL ZOO
(Se estudia que se hayan podido usar fondos reservados del Ministerio del Interior)
CONVOCADA JUSTA MANIFESTACIÓN DE PROTESTA.
22
Dec
I was married 3 times explained the man to a newly discovered drinking partner, and Ill never marry again. My first 2 wives died of eating poison mushrooms and my 3rd wife died of a fractured skull.
Thats a shame. said his friend , How did it happen?
She wouldnt eat the mushrooms!
22
Dec
101. Its amazing how late you can stay up doing absolutely nothing, yet falling asleep in class or in the library takes an average of two seconds.
102. You spend a ridiculous amount of time pondering the mystery of whether the cafeteria Lucky Charms are the real thing.
103. People magazine is your deep philosophical reading material.
104. You begin to subdivide your room into sections such as den, library, etc. to make it sound like a house.
105. All you have to do to make new friends is have mom send up some cookies.
106. You never realized how quiet your house was.
107. Dishes arent dirty enough to wash until they have bugs and/or mold in them.
108. Printers only break down when you desperately need them.
109. You get along so much better with your family now that you never see any of them.
110. Your life will never be the same again.
22
Dec
– They dont know the words.
22
Dec
A
man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing
a suitcase. He says,"What are you doing?" She
answers, "Im moving to Las Vegas. I heard prostitutes
there get paid $400 for doing what I do for you for
free!"
Later that night on her way out the wife walks
into the bedroom and sees her husband packing his
suitcase. When she asks him where hes going, he
replies… "Im going to Vegas too. I want
to see you live on $800 a year!"
22
Dec
Two guys were at a bar arguing with their friend who was a midget. Sudden out of nowhere, the Pope walks into the bar! Oh my god its the pope they all say at once the midget says to the guys Thats it Im going ask him. So he walks up to the Pope and asks Sir, are there midget nuns in America?, No, no, no. says the Pope Are there midget nuns in the entire world? No, no, no. says the Pope Are there even such things as midget nuns? No, no, no. says the Pope. His friends burst out chanting, Joe screwed a penguin, Joe screwed a penguin…
22
Dec
Spoiled milk.
21
Dec
Q: How is lightning like a violists fingers?
A: Neither one strikes in the same place twice.