El jefe está teniendo una aventura amorosa con su secretaria. Una tarde en el motel, tras una intensa juerga, el hombre, poco acostumbrado a tanta actividad, se queda profundamente dormido.
Cuando despierta, a las 8:30 de la noche, se da cuenta de lo tarde que se le ha hecho para regresar a su hogar.
¡Apúrate!, le dice a la secretaria, mientras me visto, lleva mis zapatos al jardÃn del motel y embárralos de lodo.
Sorprendida, la secretaria obedece. Cuando el tipo llega a la casa una hora después y su esposa le reclama, el hombre dice:
No puedo mentirte, querida. Me pasé la tarde con mi secretaria en un motel, después me quedé dormido y se me hizo tarde para regresar a casa.
La esposa, contemplando los zapatos del hombre, irritada le grita:
¡Vil mentiroso, otra vez te escapaste a jugar golf!
Posted in Chistes chistosos |
Tres dueños de funerarias se reúnen para tomarse unos tragos. El primero les comenta a los otros dos que el caso más difÃcil para él fue preparar a un hombre que le habÃan dado treinta puñaladas.
Eso no es nada, a mà me tocó preparar una persona que tenÃa el brazo dentro del oÃdo y le salÃan los dedos por el cerebro, afirma otro.
Pues a mà me tocó preparar una viejita que la habÃan violado doce tipos…, declara el tercero.
¿Y dónde está la dificultad?, preguntan intrigados los otros dos.
¡En que me costó mucho quitarle la cara de felicidad!
Posted in Chistes chistosos |
The Horse Auction
Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horses legs, rump, and chest.
After a few minutes, Johnny asked, Dad, why are you doing that?
His father replied, Because when Im buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy.
Johnny, looking worried, said, Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom.
Posted in Little Johnny/Jane |
21. Labs used to be fun.
22. T.A. used to stand for teaching assistant, now, for terribly articulated.
23. Squirt guns equal stress relief.
24. E-mail becomes your second language.
25. Frat parties are exactly like they are in the movies.
26. Ten-page papers used to sound impossible, now theyre a Godsend.
27. You never realized so many people are smarter than you.
28. You never realized so many people are dumber than you.
29. Professors are like celebrities: you see them, but they never see you.
30. Western Europe could be wiped out by a horrible plague and youd never know, but you could recite last weeks episode of Friends verbatim.
Posted in School |
There was a very rich old Irish man who had a little dog. It meant the
world to him. When the dog died he went to the priest. Father Murphy, my
little dog is dead. Id sure appreciate it if yed say a public mass fer
im.
Sorry, Patrick, said the priest, we dont say mass fer dogs n
the like. But you go on down there to the Protestant church. With their
progressive thinking, who knows what theyll do!
Well, Father, I wouldnt
want to offend them. Do ya think a donation of a-hundred-thousand pounds
would be fitting fer such a service? Patrick asked.
Now, Patrick, why
didnt ye tell me that there little dog was Catholic in the first place?!
Posted in Ethnic |
Source: A local (Pittsburgh, PA) comedian.
Dick Thornburgh has resigned his position as Attorney General, the
nations highest cop, to run for the U.S. Senate in November.
Looks like another case of if you cant beat em, join em.
Posted in General / Unsorted |
- I bought that truck new.
- I won this belt buckle in the rodeo.
- I was just helping that sheep get over the fence.
Posted in General / Unsorted |
Q: What does a blonde do when it gets cold?
A: Sits around a candle Q: What does she do when it gets really cold?
A: Lights it
Posted in Blonde |
Q: How do you brainwash a blonde?
A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down.
Posted in Blonde |