You want the opening day of deer hunting season to be declared a national holiday.
Someone knocks on your front door and your back door rattles.
You let goldenrod grow in your yard because it looks so pretty.
31
Dec
31
Dec
The directions to your house include turn off the paved road.
Your dog and your wallet are both on chains.
Every electrical outlet in your house is a fire hazard.
31
Dec
You have to pay your hair care professional in weekly installments of $3.00.
You live close enough to town to get garbage service, but dont use it because they wont come down your driveway to get it.
The fellows on the big garbage moving equipment recoginze your wife…. and wave to her.
31
Dec
Youve given your gun a womans name.
Baling wire and a pair of pliers are what you consider high tech tools.
You go to the post office to research your family tree.
31
Dec
Your kid takes a siphon hose to show-and-tell.
Youve been on TV more than 5 times describing the sound of a tornado.
You fish in your above-ground pool. . . and catch something.
31
Dec
Your truck has a bumper sticker that reads, Gun control is a steady hand.
Your wife has ever torn her hose on the boogers stuck under the front of the pickup seat.
You have ever had a special loaded gun by the back door only for use on possums.
31
Dec
You take a fishing pole to Sea World.
The hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car.
Youve ever filled your deer tag on the golf course.
31
Dec
You consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.
You can amuse yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.
You have to go down to the creek to take a bath.
31
Dec
You think Motorola is a fancy name for a car part.
You give your girlfriend long-thorned roses hoping she wont ask for them again.
You borrow your wedding flowers from Wal-Mart.
31
Dec
Your huntin dawg cost more than the truck you drive him around in.
You have a Hefty bag for a convertible top.
Your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.