Q: How many Reaganists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Ten: One to deny that the bulb is burned out, one to clarify the denial (The bulb is really just dim), one to blame the bulb burning out on the Carter administration, one to blame the bulb burning out on Congress, one to ask for a Constitutional amendment that will prohibit bulbs from burning out, one to replace the bulb with a kerosene lamp, one to borrow money from the Japanese to pay for the kerosene, one former Reaganist to lobby his old colleagues for a special favour for the kerosene importer, one to cash the cheque for investing in the kerosene importer, one to send the bill to the next generation.
31
Dec
31
Dec
Q: How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two–one to promise hell do it better than anyone else and one to obscure the issues.
31
Dec
Q: How many art directors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Does it have to be a lightbulb?
31
Dec
Q: How many Macintosh users does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One, but it costs $4000 and you have to replace the motherboard.
31
Dec
Q: How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
31
Dec
Q: How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?
A: You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and youll have all the light you need.
31
Dec
Q: How many undertakers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They just paint them black and go on using them.
31
Dec
Q: How many Douglas Wilders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: I dont know, he cant decide if he is going to screw a lightbulb in or not!
31
Dec
Q: How many cabbage patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?
A: The question is irrelevant since you couldnt find the dolls even if you knew how many.
Note: Topical to 1983 and the difficulty of obtaining cabbage patch dolls
31
Dec
Q: How many members of Take That does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: They cant sing, they cant dance so what makes you think they can change a lightbulb?