16
Aug

Cierto da, un borracho consuetudinario

Cierto día, un borracho consuetudinario regresa de una fiesta de pueblo, de esas que demoran casi una semana. Como no traía ni un solo peso en el bolsillo, decide caminar hasta su casa. A medio camino le dan ganas de orinar, así que saca su miembro y empieza a mear; al mirar hacia abajo, ve que hay un hormiguero y dirige el chorro hacia el agujero. De pronto, ¡zas!, se aparece un genio diciendo:

¡Amo, por haberme sacado del hoyo tienes derecho a un deseo!

¿Un deseo, el que yo quiera? ¡Hummm, ya sé, quiero orinar whisky Old Parr!

¡Tu deseo será concedido!

Y desaparece.

Al cabo de un rato, el tipo orina sobre su mano que utiliza como receptáculo y prueba el líquido.

¡Guau, oriné Old Parr, esto hay que festejarlo!

Llega a su casa corriendo:

¡Mi amor, mi amor, te tengo una buena noticia: orino Old Parr!

La esposa prueba de la mano del borracho y exclama:

¡Es cierto, esto hay que festejarlo, voy a buscar dos vasos!

Mi amor, mi amor, trae un solo vaso, porque lo eres tú te lo metes a pico de botella.

16
Aug

Here Boy

Q. What do you call a dog with no hind legs and steel balls?

A. Sparky!

16
Aug

Forbes Top List

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the



richest people in America. If Im not there, I go to work.

16
Aug

Knock Knock Whos there? Cy! Cy who? Cyn on

Knock Knock
Whos there?
Cy!
Cy who?
Cyn on the botton line!

16
Aug

Take care to get what

Take care to get what you like or you will be forced to like what you get.

16
Aug

You know how most packages

You know how most packages say Open here. What is the protocol if
the package says, Open somewhere else?

16
Aug

Woman driver and the trees

A woman driver is heading down the expressway, when all of a sudden the woman sees a tree to her left, a tree to her right, and a tree directly in front of her, so she swerves and hits a guardrail.

Later, a cop arrives and ask her what happened, to which she replied,I saw a tree to my left, a tree to my right, and a tree directly in front of me!

The cop says, Maam, there ARE trees on both sides of the road, but the one you saw directly in front of you was your air freshener.

16
Aug

Ugly

Im fat, but youre ugly and I can lose weight!

16
Aug

Outside a Dog…

Outside a dog, a book is a great companion. Inside a dog, its pretty dark!

16
Aug

Excuses For Missing Work

I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldnt come to work knowing my employee records may now contain false information.

I cant come in to work today because Ill be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. OK?

When I got up this morning I took two Ex-Lax in addition to my Prozac.

I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at the Food Giant.

Ive used up all my sick days…so Im calling in dead

The voices told me to clean all the guns today.

The dog ate my car keys, So now I have to hitchhike to the vet.