Saying Make it so in casual conversation.
Indignation because the periodic table doesnt include dilithium and tritanium.
Ability to use variable phase inverter in a sentence without excessive thought first.
More than one pair of Spock ears on junk drawer.
Have figured out the stardate system.
Sudden urge to wear lots of Lycra.
Scanning shelves at local liquor store for synthehol.
The Star Trek theme becomes background music for your dreams.
Major quote sources for thesis are Shakespeare, the Bible, and The Omega Glory.
Memorization of the crews authorization codes.
Forgetting that present-day elevators dont have voice interface.
Attending a convention wearing non-Terran vestments.
Actual serious thoughts about buying that $300 model of the Enterprise from the Franklin Mint.
Understanding Klingon.
Lecturing a science professor on how transporters work.
Playing fizzbin and understanding it.
The Outrageous Okona seems like a fine piece of writing and dramatic stylistics.
Paying rapt attention during those endless special effects sequences in Star Trek: The Motion Picture.
More than three original episode outlines buried in your drawers.
You spend all your free time playing on the IRC #startrek channel, like a giant geek.
Our library has so many books they had to put it in a multi-story building.
I knew a prisoner who crowded his roommates terribly by building a huge aquarium in their room. It was just plain cell-fish of him!
Smoke dynamite… itll really blow your mind.
Scientists report that dieters lost brain cells as well as body weight.
Its a case of think or slim.
My camera is broken. But, I wont have a negative attitude – Ill take it to the repair shop and see what develops. People think I broke it but the crime isnt so black and white. Ah, I get the picture – Im being framed!
A vampire walks into a bar, and asks for a Large glass of A-positive blood. The bartender looks him square in the eyes, and says Im sorry, but we dont serve your type here!
Did you hear about the guy who gave narcotics to seagulls?
He left no tern unstoned.
If you shake up a can of beer, and spill it on your stove, do you get foam on the range?
My cat got stolen. I think it was taken by a purr snatcher.
How Does a Sardar Cheat the Railways??
He buys the ticket but doesnt travel !!!!!!!!
yo mamma so fat wehn god said let their be ligt he told her to move
Five surgeons discuss who are the best patients to operate on.
I like to see accountants on my operating table, The first surgeon says, When you open them up, everything inside is neatly numbered.Yeah, The second surgeon agrees, But you should try electricians- everything inside them is colour coded.No, I think librarians are the best, Says another, Everything inside is in alphabetical order.Well, The fourth says, I like construction workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would.I think you are all wrong! The last surgeon says, The easiest patients to operate on, by far, are politicians- they have no guts, no brain, no heart and no spine!
A powerful senator dies after a prolonged illness. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. Welcome to Heaven, says St. Peter. Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so were not sure what to do with you. No problem, just let me in, says the senator.Well, Id like to but I have orders from higher up. What well do is have you spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity. Really, Ive made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven. Im sorry but we have our rules, replies St. Peter.And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. Nearby are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him. Everyone is in evening attire and very happy to see him. They run to greet him, hug him, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and caviar. Also present is the Devil, who really is a very friendly guy and who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that the time flies, before he realizes it, the senator has to go. Everyone gives him a big hug and waves while the elevator rises. The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on Heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him. Now its time to visit Heaven. The next 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns. Well then, youve spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven. Now choose your eternity. The senator reflects for a minute, then answers, Well, I would never have said it, I mean
10. Cats facial expressions9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors8. Why bean sprouts arent just weeds7. Fat clothes6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time5. The difference between beige, off-white, and eggshell4. Cutting your bangs to make them grow3. Eyelash curlers2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made1. OTHER WOMEN
We wish you a happy hearing,
we wish you a happy hearing,
We wish you a happy hearing,
and we hope you make bail!
Skeet shooting the shuttle craft
Plugging Nintendo cartridges into Data
Giving Worf A nuggie
Ordering Pizza from Dominos then going 30 min. into the future just to piss them off (haha, free pizza!)
Secretly replacing the Dilithium crystals with New Folgers crystals
Reprogramming the computer to play the theme to Jeopardy during self destruct sequence
Watching Captain Picard do his Mr. Clean impression
Calling down to the transporter room, ask if theyve beamed aboard Prince Albert In A Can
Tribble sex!
You might be a redneck if…
You own at least 20 baseball hats.